Literate ApeCast Ep. 38 — When Primates Consider Death and What Comes After
D&D get into the concepts of death, where you (might) go after and how to manage the unknown future of Harry with the Grim Reaper sort of following him around.
Plus six things to do that assists you in understanding the world outside of your uncle's crawl space where you hide from aliens and your handsy older brother.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 37 — On Fear And How To Manage It
The chimps talk about David's fear that a child in his family will turn out to be a cop and Don's work toward finding a zen place to calm the Hulk-like rage and worry in the modern world.
AND…six things for you to do to stave off the deepening depression that Mordor has taken over Middle Earth.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 36 — If At First You Don't Succeed, Try, Try Rohypnol
Beginning with a discussion of why Don may or may not want the Left to arm itself, the conversation turns to how we might wage an American Civil War without killing each other.
Plus six things to do because Yelp! sucks ass.
![Literate ApeCast Ep. 35 — Lactose Intolerant AND OCD About A Clean Bunghole [NSFW]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1528123044758-TCVY3KQRZY1OX7QX75SX/apecast_cover.jpg)
Literate ApeCast Ep. 35 — Lactose Intolerant AND OCD About A Clean Bunghole [NSFW]
OK, gang. This one is definitely not for the weak. An intense discussion of clean assholes, rim jobs, whisky dick, and cracking under torture due to an aversion to dairy gets fairly NSFW. I mean, we assume you play this podcast loud in your office every week, so don’t with this episode.
AND we throw out some great suggestions to occupy your time as the globe swiftly spirals toward oblivion.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 34 — Can Unconditional Love Exist Or Can Don Sell David’s Kid On Craigslist?
The boys dive in deep with a serious disagreement about the concept of unconditional love. Does it exist? If there are conditions, is it really love? Does breaking trust mean the relationship is over? All started as a discussion of the weight of new parenthood, things start to spin out of control as David creates a bizarre hypothetical to get Don to admit he’d divorce his wife and the semantics take over.
Plus, six things for you to do this week because without structure and a list, your life is a meandering shuffle through procrastination and staring into the void, eventually succumbing to the existential despair that only post-2000 living can bring.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 33 — Catching Rocks With Your Head Because It’s Darwinian
Don and David cover in this episode Roseanne Barr, whether “Literate Ape” is racist, gender roles when it comes to parenting, and grandfathers.
Also, six assignments for people whose lives are so bereft of purpose that they rely on two assholes with a podcast to give them something to do.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 32 — How To Win A Broken Relationship
The chimps in a living room discuss David’s reunion with the parents of an ex-girlfriend at a wedding this weekend and his desire to make sure they relate how amazing his life is now to his ex. They also reveal the podcast’s only Apple Podcast review and David provides a response.
Plus, six tasks for you, the unwashed listener, to occupy your time so can avoid thinking about the emptiness of the daily plummet toward your own demise because you can no longer watch Roseanne for distraction.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 31 — The Best Revenge Is Having More Birthdays Than Your Enemy
The Apes in Charge talk at length about two completely disparate ideas — revenge and birthdays (PS: David is really, fully middle-aged now) and, as usual, come up with few conclusions but many opinions.
Plus six tasks for listeners that allow them to marinate in the nostalgia of the eighties as a way to avoid contemplating their own meaningless deaths.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 30 — Money Does Not Have To Destroy Your Marriage
More marriages end due to money issues than any other reason so the Apes dive into strategies to keep it from disintegrating before your eyes, jump down the cliff of the anxiety of freelancing some more and glide down memory lane pointing out some of their favorite vacations.
Plus we get a “you were there” recording of David’s grandmother seeing his tattoo for the first time and as always, six tasks for you to accomplish this week so your own money-deprived wedded hell blowing up in your face doesn’t cause you to end your week in a gutter with a tampon soaked in heroin in your ass.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 29 — Your Personal Truth Is a Bunch Of Crap
How much of what we read is truth and how much is fiction? Extrapolating from the works of both Tim O’Brien and Oliver Sacks, the monkeys in charge go down a rabbit hole of the impossibility of finding objective truth when our brains are not hardwired to see it. From fiction to storytelling to accusations and jury duty (with a quick detour into the Kennedy Assassination), these two idiots still have no real answers.
They do, however, have six tasks for you to attempt for the week that will ensure you don’t burn your eyeballs with the image of your lint-filled belly button while eating only Hot Pockets and jerking off to the same PornHub video of step siblings humping while mom is away.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 28 — A Clusterfuck of Overstaying Guests
On today’s episode, the Chimps in Charge discuss at length the problem with the friendly squatter, that person who needs a place to crash and never leave.
Plus they provide six things for you to do, watch, listen to or read for the week to fill your time so you don’t realize that nature wants you dead because your decaying flesh feeds the plants.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 27 — We’re All Dancing Fuckin’ Monkeys, Gimme a Peanut
Number 27 includes conversations with the boys about that new job smell, the tendency to be more social at the workplace than is wise, the Expectation Theory, the Starbucks bathroom policy, the question of the shelf life of redemption in the Age of #MeToo, and the weird new trend of Incels.
Also, six things for you to watch in the next week to ensure you have something to talk about when socializing with your semi-drunk colleagues after work on Friday.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 26 — Your Ballon Grief Doesn’t Count As Real
David and Don discuss the idea of someone you work with dying (prefaced by the passing of WWDTM’s Carl Kasell), the reframing of death, that impulse to stop yourself from posting something online that might need a moment of reflection, and the idea that social media prevents us from making mistakes and evolving into better people.
AND…six things for you to do, watch, read or listen to because in the plethora of choices, a little guidance might be helpful.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 25 — Whereby We Discover that David is the Arugula King of Drunks
Episode 25 includes Don and David discussing the recent controversy surrounding the Simpsons character Apu, the brilliance of Norman Lear, the cuisine of the alcoholic, and the fact that David is Ferris Bueller and Don is the guy who joyrides in Cameron’s dad’s car.
And, as always, six things for you to do as you endure the fucking non-Spring Spring of Chicago to avoid slitting your wrists.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 24 — Does Nostalgia Smother Creativity?
David brings up the big question: does today’s film and television circle jerk with nostalgia (Fuller House, Stranger Things, the new Roseanne) inhibit the impulse to create new ideas? Be warned: lots of nostalgia is present in the episode including Planet of the Apes, Will & Grace, and The Avengers. We also discover David’s unreasoning hatred for Joseph Gordon Levitt.
And, as always, the boys provide six tasks for you to fulfill your Eagle Scout badge requirements because you can’t start a fire for shit…
Literate ApeCast Ep. 23 — Cocktail Vs. The Fisher King
Today Don and David discuss whether to put his new baby online for all manner of predators to view, the fact that David cooks like a Hipster Foodie, and each detail three movies that inspire them.
Plus six things to do so that your inert body won’t develop bedsores from just laying there for seven days.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 15 — David Tattoos His Emotional Support Animal On His Arm
In this episodes the co-editors of Literate Ape talk about racist sports mascots, cultural appropriation, tattoos, and the bizarre misrepresentation of emotional support animals.
Plus, we join David at Great Lakes Tattoo on his virgin voyage and six things for you to do with your otherwise dismal and pointless week.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 14 — LIVE! with Mike Vinopal & Brian Sweeney
On this, the first live episode of the ApeCast at GMan Tavern, Don, David and guests Mike Vinopal and Brian Sweeney talk about working as a television extra, the fact that Mike dated Don's wife before they got married, Jerry Lewis's The Day the Clown Cried, and each person's favorite film of 2017. Also, we are treated with a song by Mike.
Plus, as always, six things for you to do this week...
Literate ApeCast Ep. 13 — That Picture of Me at a Neo-Nazi Rally is Ruining My Life
In this episode, Don and David talk about an odd request from the publishing world of Literate Ape from a Neo-Nazi, the Aziz Ansar and Grace issue, and the eating of Tide Pods.
Plus six things you should do this week.
Literate ApeCast Ep. 12 — Rebranding The Homeless To Be As Cute As Puppies
This episode has Don and David discussing whether Oprah should run for president, the question of how to motivate altruism through self interest (or at least make those in need be as cute and charming as dogs), and the dilemma of loving music and film created by abusers and assholes.
And, as always, a few things they think you should do with your week.