WARNING: Spoilers for MCU’s “Falcon and The Winter Soldier” as the chimps on microphones parse out the new Captain America. Then David opens up about a true rift in his marriage and his screaming child. Don decides to offer his sage relationship and parenting advice, neither which worth much.

The Chauvin guilty verdict is an absolute win in our days but what does it mean for the future of police reform? David reveals that one of his favorite storytellers in none other than Chicago’s Nestor Gomez and the gentlemen apes walk through differing ideas as to how to put perspective on some of our system’s biggest issues.

Don and David explore the possibility that history is ever repetitive and may result in a second “Roaring Twenties” scenario. They also cover the existence of OnlyFans and the awful wonder of a Cruise Ship Cabaret by Adrian Zmed.

Amidst an urbane and surprisingly adult conversation about the social responsibility of the church-goers, gun rights for the Evangelicals, and our decades-long descent into toxic individualism, three-year old beast Harry does everything he can to reduce his father to a blubbering mess.

WARNING: Those with toddlers will be triggered by this episode.

It’s perhaps a very good thing that Don has never spawned offspring and is not in charge of the “self-care” industry in any way. David tries to guide this self-professed “guy from the eighties” in the softer, gentler age of letting children destroy any peace of mind parents have and bragging about therapy and anxiety as badges of inclusion.

Turns out Don is the corner of the table you bump your funny bone on (according to David) in a bit of a therapy turnaround with the Chimps psychoanalyzing the guy “from the eighties.” David moves on with his rage at the gun culture in America and they close things out with David’s “Nine Levels of Offense”.

David believes Woody Allen is a child molester; Don does not. This one gets ugly.

David and Katie throw Harry his third birthday and then, mid-episode, have to deal with life in a cell with a three-year old. D&D reminisce about birthdays they can barely remember then dive in to the latest POLITICO poll of Americans and the extreme margins that aren’t really that relevant.

In a discussion about the (not) cancelling of six Dr. Seuss books and the cancel culture that may (or may not) exist in the world, Don antagonizes David as the gadfly in his soup.

Apparently, working from home with no place to go in Chicago is finally getting to Himmel as he can’t seem to understand basic conversation. In the stranger or already strange conversations, Don finally loses his shit and then they talk about the NYT article about Smith College which David seems to think is fine.

Himmel stepped into a pile of his own digital crap this week and, apparently, the Chicago Storytelling Community is up to its old gossipy, bitchy tricks. Don calls Alvin Las a Class A Cunt and David makes fun of the rest. Brilliant, bitchy fun about life on the digital freeway.

In a rare occurrence, Don records a bit drunk and it just gets worse as the podcast continues. Somehow David manages to engage in a conversation about culture, David’s bizarre coat, and a discussion of the cancelling of Gina Carrano by Disney.

Turns out that Don is just one year younger than Abraham Lincoln was when he was shot and that David is getting older by the day because his child is almost three and living in a pandemic.

David takes parenting advice from the least qualified source in history and then the boys settle in on the ups and downs of being a writer for a living. Also WARNING: Complete spoiler alert for the Netflix film The Vanishing featuring a fat Jason Patric and a nonexistent child disappearance. Oops. Sorry.

Last week’s events have thrown the boys off. Reactions to the breach of the Capitol, a bizarre truncated BUGHOUSE! Debate about whether Congress should impeach the Donald again and if there’s any point to it, plus David plays Capitol Police to Harry’s MAGA Traitor (except Harry vacuums instead of takes a selfie at Pelosi’s desk).

The Apes have ten predictions for the coming (happy or relieved) new year. Do you agree with them? Are they completely cracked? Welcome to 2021 (which sounds like 2020 Won)!

Harry wants to watch the iPad but the battery is dead. His two-year old existential angst is a metaphor for 2020 and the Chimps in Charge break down their hopes for the coming year.

After a group text when a trusted intellectual lowers the conspiracy-boom on both the Apes, the boys chat about how to square the circle and not simply shun their friend. Also, Don is leaving his work as a casino manager to work remotely and wonders what big life-changing risks are worth it?