Literate Ape is seven years old this month. Let’s talk about it.

David is reading the affirmations in his wife’s office and has some thoughts.

Himmel gets in from therapy in a pissy mood, Hall laments the strange backwards view of America from his apartment window, both find Salma Hayek in a bikini to be a supernova in their adolescent brains.

David has a Karen moment with Portillo’s and Don sees a parallel with the new Williw Wonka movie and the nuding of the American bush.

Like a conversation held by David Foster Wallace and a homeless lunatic, this thing goes off the rails in record time. Get an edible before listening to it and it might make sense.

Himmel does a brief recap of his time in Israel. Hall is simply a degenerate as David exposes his deepest thoughts. You know—an ApeCast!

Himmel’s in the Middle East; Hall’s in the Middle West. Ah, naval gazing at it’s finest!

Himmel is out in the Middle East being Jewish so Don called up his buddy Brandon to hash out his issues.

Hall is wondering why he hasn’t lit Kansas on fire with his artistic terrorism and the chimps yak about the ground fertility for some new artistic ‘bad boys.’

Himmel goes to the ballpark to discover that poor people are no longer welcome, Hall hates Red Lobster because it gave him food poisoning, and if the MAGA crowd is going to fabricate that DeSantis is on the spectrum, those actually on the spectrum should spread rumors of GOP members boning random stuff.

Himmel flipped the calendar last week and is now 47 years old. He shares with us his lessons of the past year.

The Apes have news of a dead body in David’s neighborhood and the ungodly affect that Bernadette Peters still has on their chubby dragons is a topic of discussion. Also, apologies to Naperville.

If you could time travel, would you go back and change anything? What would you change?

Is Himmel drinking beer at 7AM? Is Hall walking around Wichita unseen? How many recreational drugs have the two co-hosts done and what did they learn from the experiences? Tune in, fuck-o, and find out!

First: apologies about Don’s audio. He’s a beta adopter and the latest update jacked up his recording inputs. Second: Himmel was in a mood. Dark. Brooding. Like the ApeCast version of doomscrolling. Buckle in!

On the heels of David’s family friend on the cusp of a hospice death, the apes double down on their own bad taste and challenge each other to a game of “Which Would You Rather?” with horrible ways to die. Good fun for the family!

David went to Florida and was confronted with a fat, bald guy who put “she/her” on the name badge and he had thoughts. This leads the hosts into a discussion of promouns as fashion and the shift from cancelling people to those who have been canceled becoming uncancelled. Fortunately five-year-old Harry clarifies it.

Americans LOVE guns. 400 million in a country with 330 million people. Unsurprisingly, neither of the Apes has a solution but certainly have opinions.

Don compares living in Kansas to an Italian prison or living inside a Walmart and then the chimps chat about whether words are violent or harmful and if bullies are an essential part of living in a world filled with bullies.

Don has taken to watching dating shows on Netflix and screaming at the bad choices; David went to Vegas and got two—TWO—tattoos. Let the hijinks and shennanigans ensue!