By David Himmel

• MAD Magazine has some of the best journalism available today.

• You cannot save the forest by burning the trees.

• Bananas: Do they kill belly fat or create belly fat? The janky pop-up ads I keep seeing contradict themselves.

• I would totally make a rabbit’s foot out of my dog’s paw.

• The towel rack in my bathroom came loose from the wall. I’m a pretty handy guy and reinstalling a towel rack is a fairly simple job. Despite marking the old holes and my measuring several times before re-drilling the holes and installing anchors into the drywall, the distance between the two ends was off by about an eighth of an inch. It’s inexplicable to me but clear that I somehow screwed it up. When I was a kid, my dad designed and built a clubhouse for us in our backyard by his own imagination and own hands. I screwed up reinstalling a towel rack. My future as a successful family man is not a promising one.

• United Airlines is the best advertising Amtrak could never ask for.