By Elizabeth Harper

Counter angry thought/belief with another thought, alternative description of the situation, different interpretation or explanation, counterargument, counterexample. Also, try to see the situation from the other person’s point of view. What’s their story? Maybe they need a way to feel good about themselves. Maybe they are not capable of understanding you or where you’re coming from. Maybe they can’t possibly know what it feels like to be you. Maybe they are hurting very badly.

Even if your angry interpretation of the situation is morally and factually correct, maybe you need to add more details and information to the angry story you are telling.

Remember to respect other people. Say “please” and “thank you.” Find something to compliment and praise. Sincerely.

Every individual is unique with their own talents and challenges.

Things that are easy for you are impossible or extremely difficult for other people. It is impossible for you to understand what it is like to be them. You can’t expect them to understand you. That is not a reasonable expectation.

You are not like other people and that is ok. If someone tries to make you feel bad about yourself, the content of their remarks is false. Their attempt to make you feel bad about yourself is about them. They are trying to make themselves feel better by putting you down. You are not obligated to feel bad about yourself because they say you should.

You shouldn't try to hurt people with your words. You are brutal and sadistic. You must be aware of your own strength and ability to hurt others. “She doesn’t know her own strength.”

Your anger is protective and necessary for your survival. Anger is good. Hate is good. Problem-solving is good. Thinking, researching, looking into causes, correlations, and explanations are good. Most of the time hurting other people on purpose is ethically wrong, can get you into trouble, and may make the situation worse. Expressing your anger can lead to problem-solving (good). But be aware if the expression of your anger is excessively hurtful.

“The truth hurts.”

“The truth will set you free.”

People will be hurt by the truth. This is unavoidable. So you will hurt the people you love. And they will hurt you. Who do you love enough to inflict pain on and endure pain from?

“Pain makes you beautiful.”

“You always hurt the one you love.”