By David Himmel

• Christians are not the most persecuted group in the world. However, Christians who are assholes are being prosecuted in the court of public opinion. And that’s a good thing for everyone, especially Christians.

• Even when viewed from a boat positioned just under them, Chicago’s Fourth of July fireworks are lame. Limp dicked. Boring. Perhaps it’s a budget thing — Mayor Ron Amanuell is having his office curtains redone with the skin of dead black teenagers. Perhaps Chicago hates America. I don’t know the reason for the lackluster showing, but there is no debate around the idea that Chicago’s fireworks suck. You want to see a fireworks show? Head down to Arthur, Illinois. Big City don’t always mean better.

• I was a little disappointed to learn Anthony Bourdain had a Twitter account, and appeared to use it frequently.

• Jeff Bezos’ job is not running Amazon but making mayors of American cities his little bitch.

• Of all the things that lend themselves to my general state of malcontent and depression, seeing a Saturn on the road may be the greatest. Not that we should be judged by the car we drive but anyone who still owns a Saturn has either given up or is trying way too hard at the wrong things.

• The frequency and manner in which my 3.5-month old son pukes on himself is identical to me in my 20s.