By David Himmel

• The hardest part about being parents will be keeping the heavy reveals in the first three Star Wars films a secret until the kid sees the movies for himself. We appreciate your help with this. It takes a village, you know.

• In trying to disprove stereotypes, you won’t find a worse effort than when I saw an Asian woman turn the wrong way down a one way while nearly hitting the “Road Closed” sign and construction horses.

• Most of my college friends have kids starting school this week. First graders, fifth graders, kindergartners… Seeing their First Day of School photos is just a reminder that most of my college friends were having sex way before I was.

• It’s a really nice feeling when you run into old friends you haven’t seen or spoken to in a long time, and one of the first things they say is, “Your wife is so beautiful.” Maybe I’m vain, but I don’t care. What do people say about your wife?

• If this is a mid-life crisis, I should have started panicking way before I was half-dead.

• Of all the many ways modern Corporate America is designed to screw us — privacy concerns, banks screwing us, trans fats, etc. — the one that causes me the most concern is the short lifespan and hefty expense of printer ink cartridges.