Fast & Short is a flash fiction collaboration between eight Literate Ape writers. Each was tasked with authoring one piece of flash fiction that would be combined to create a single short story. The writers’ flash fiction needed to serve two purposes: 1. Stand alone as a unique piece of flash fiction and 2. Serve as a vehicle for building a larger story and driving that story forward. Over the next two weeks, Literate Ape will publish all eight flash fiction stories individually with a link to the growing compilation. We hope you enjoy this literary experiment.
—DH2 , co-editors

By Elizabeth Harper

I’M GLAD THAT CHANDELIER FELL ON ME. Ironically, for someone named Hope, I sure didn't have any—hope, that is. I had a cynical vision of my future with hubby Phillip.

What's a girl to do when she hates work, most people, and everything except shopping and watching Netflix? Con some dupe into marrying her. At least I was attractive. I had that much going for me, which came with some advantages. But there were disadvantages, too. Unwanted attention combined with commonplace sexism. Admired and dissed at the same time.  Annoying. With a ring on my finger, maybe most oglers would leave me alone, but then I'd be stuck with this one snoozefest of a dude for the rest of my life. And he wasn't that smart either. I would have to monitor his career prospects and financial transactions, so I would know when to divorce him and relieve him of his cash and assets before it all went south.

Death by chandelier saved me from a life of misery. It was a quick death. I didn’t have to bother coming up with my own suicide plan. Now I terrorize couples when I’m summoned from the grave. True love, pffft.