By Lauren Huffman

My newsfeed is inundated with people digitally crying over Kavanaugh’s advance, and rightfully so. However, I can’t help but wonder how many of these digital tears are from closeted male abusers. A closeted abuser is someone that seems, to the naked eye, like a totally normal guy.

I think of the closeted abusive boys from my past — I say boys because a real man would never be abusive.

These boys adamantly denounced men like Kavanaugh. Kavanaugh-type men who are mostly white, in a powerful/prominent position and usually have large bank accounts. They waxed poetic on how disgusting the behavior is of the Kavanaugh type. How women deserve so much better. They usually claimed to be an ally and would defend women if ever needed. Saying things like “Give me their name, I’ll take care of it.” And then doing nothing.

These boys were pegged as nice guys. They had good jobs (whatever that means) and were nice to their mothers. So naturally, they can’t be predators or abusive or anything negative at all.

These same boys range in age from late 20s to mid 70s, are not all American and are guilty of the following:

1. Boys decades older than me inappropriately hitting on me and then bashing me publicly on Facebook for not wanting their advances.

2. Boys who scream and yell at me, chasing me down dark alleys after lying to me about their marriage and age.

3. Boys who write me lengthy emails calling me names for not giving them a blow job.

4. Boys who tell me I don’t have the right to speak freely because it could affect them somehow, some way.

5. Boys who participate in behavior and then blame me for the possibility of it ever coming to light — as if they have no responsibility in the manner.

6. Boys who stomp out of my apartment because they did not feel I was cuddly enough.

7. Boys who told me I’m skinny now but are worried I’m not active enough to be thin forever.

8. Boys who felt me up after I have fallen asleep and then get mad when I asked them to stop, once awake.

I wish these boys would just shut up.