By David Himmel

• Watching my son learning to crawl while taking a dump is a joy I never thought I’d have.

• I was poking around on Wikipedia, and was reminded that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was 39 years old when he died. As of this writing, I’m the exact same age as he was at the time of his death — 39 and four months. Man, think of all I could have been at 39 and four months if I didn’t have Wikipedia to keep me from being useful.

• “Nothing else quite shows you what you’re made of like loss.” Dana Jerman makes a good point. She’s not the first one to express this sentiment. I’ve long known this but I think I’ve forgotten. Because I avoid loss like Trump avoids accountability, and these days I’m not sure what I’m made of anymore beyond some carbon, a few layers of flesh, and partially digested frozen pizza and poke bowls from Mariano’s.

• I’ve always had a hard time respecting anonymous authors. Anonymous sources, I understand, but writers who opt to leave their name off of something is cowardice. The New York Times should know better. That said, it’s probably a lot more fun to work in the White House now that the ceiling fans are whipping shit all over the walls.

• The greatest threat to the LGBTQ community is not Donald Trump or the Republicans or the Alt Right. It’s gender reveal parties.

• I understand defending Trump’s policies. But if you defend his character, especially this far into the game, you’re just too daft or too committed to trolling for me to agree to disagree. And if you manage to work anything having to do with Hillary Clinton into your defense of his character then you’re in serious need of a lobotomy or collegiate courses in debate and deductive reasoning. But a lobotomy is likely the best option for you. Think of how much better you’ll feel when the rest of your brain is rendered useless.