By David Himmel

• It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it that matters. I’ve said this before, and yet, some people still don’t get it. Maybe it’s the way I’m saying it.

• Not being able to run the Chicago Marathon this weekend due to an injury is like watching an ex-girlfriend fuck her new boyfriend in front of me while screaming, “He found my clit! I found my clit, David!”

• It’s not at all important who Ellen DeGeneres is friends with. What’s important is not forgetting that George W. Bush is responsible for the longest running war in American history that did little more than give rise to ISIS and leave thousands of American families without their sons, daughters, husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, etc., and so on. Yes, it’s important—nay, necessary—to be friends with people who don’t share the exact same opinions as you, but befriending someone who actively fought to restrict your rights and actively lied so he could look good signing off on murders shows questionable decision-making ability. #ButHisPaintings #BloodAndOilOnCanvas

• Seeing my friends and family wish my wife a happy birthday makes me happier than when they do the same to me on my birthday.

• Finishing a creative project is the same as sleeping with a beautiful person. Having the sex is the fun, challenging part, and when you finish, you feel great about the achievement. But if you want it to matter at all, really matter and make a difference or bring you any success, you have to do the pillow talk, you have to make them breakfast, or pay them. Marketing your creative project is the pillow talk, and yeah, it sucks.

• To do: Download Things 3 for my iPhone.