By Don Hall

…that I no longer care so much about my diet or exercise so much as I just don’t want to have to buy new pants.

…that pain is inevitable and suffering is a choice. That choice to suffer offers you no special wisdom or elevated enlightenment any more than it does the child who won’t stop squalling.

…that the people most insistent that their choices in sexual partners is no one’s business are the same people pissing and moaning about Dennis Quaid marrying a woman thirty-five years younger than himself. Own your hypocrisy and despair, shitheels!

…that as soon as I hear someone say something like this: "Femaleness is not an anatomical characteristic... but rather a universal existential condition," I realize I’m talking to a moron with a god-complex and an advanced degree in gender studies.

…that Christians who wear their faith like a suit of armor and are a near constant froth about my going to hell unless I accept their version of things are only slightly more tolerable than the Woke.