By David Himmel

• Seeing young, un-wed couples on dates reminds me how far I’ve come and how old I actually am.

• Playing the victim card is as skilled a move as playing your transit card in a game of Texas hold ’em.

• I hope no Amazon workers died or pissed their pants trying to meet their quota and fulfil any of my stupid Christmas gift orders.

• There’s a part of me that misses the emptiness felt when I was single during the holidays.

• If Judaism is a nationality then I was guilty of treason not long after my Bar Mitzvah.

• You know it’s going to be a good day when the first conversation you have with your partner is a disagreement over what time it is.