Poetry Test & Fluxus Jokes

by Dana Jerman

Hello, Student —

Congratulations. This letter is your official notice that you have received an adequate amount of credits to graduate, having earned a degree in POETRY, from the Dana M. Jerman School for Obnoxionist Arts. 

One final step remains and that is the POETRY TEST. This test will utilize and assess all the skills you have amassed thus far in your training. Good luck to you.

When returning your test to the magistrar’s office, do include the diploma processing fee (cheques preferred) for $55.00.

We look forward to welcoming you into our growing alumni circle.

—

POETRY TEST:

0. Enter a line: ________________________.

1. Make the line above into three

(Father, Son, Holy Ghost).

2. Show us what you would like to steal and own and keep in 555 words or less.

3. When a mother does a mother does ___________________________?

4. It’s a diet. Every day you swallow 2 words. They are: _______________, ________________.

5. What do you know about Death?

(5 lines. Or more. Or less.)

6. Sit. Write. Sit. Write. Sit. Write. Sit. Write.

(Bonus points for doing this again.)

7. Finish this: Man is a mountain surrounded by water ______________________________.

8. Who do you give an angel for his birthday?

9. Pound a beer. Write 13 lines for every time you burp in a 2 minute period.

KEY:

You will require the following gradient.
Each correct answer is worth as much as its value.
Score each exercise accordingly.

Have a good day.

✶

FLUXUS JOKES-

(h)a poem)

#1-

A horse walks into a bar. He is carrying a record player. He turns to the bartender, who is a window, and says: “An onion is a glass world unshattered and lit from within!”

#2-

What do you call A?

#3-

What do you get when you cross a threat with an art teacher?

A gross overestimation of anarchy.

#4-

Knock knock

who's there

Pity

Pity Who

Pity the feminist who says she hates feminists and doesn't know that she is one who hates men and doesn't know that they love feminists.

#5-

How do you arrive?

Who says?

I do

Who's you?

You are.

We're here!

#6-

When a cricket laughs in the forest, do you also hear it fart?