Hillary Clinton is an AR-15 Assault Rifle
Hillary Clinton is an AR-15 assault rifle. Okay, she’s not an assault rifle, but she is a trigger. And that headline is clickbait.
HRC was a great first lady. I have no strong opinions on her as a senator—she wasn’t mine and didn’t do much to disrupt or improve the Grand National Condition—Iraq War aside because discussing that requires its own novella of nuance. She was a perfectly good secretary of state. I thought she would have been a perfectly good president. But as a candidate, Hillary Clinton was a wreck.
Yes, she won the popular vote, but we all know that the popular vote doesn’t matter. Really, democrats and liberals, when will we learn that being popular isn’t what matters? It’s happened to us… twice in the last twenty years. Hillary Clinton was the only person who could have lost to a buffoon, a sexual predator, a fraud, a business failure, a cummy-shit stain of a human being that is Donald Trump. HRC did not deserve a lot of the vitriol lumped on her over the years that made her such a polarizing figure by the time she ran for president in 2016. The lumps she took were sexist. I can’t argue against that. But Jesus Christ, Hil…
She went on to insult the electorate (those deplorables), ignored key states (Michigan, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania), and covered up that she had the flu. The flu. Hillary Clinton and her team was so incredibly tone deaf during the 2016 campaign that they took something that happens to all of us and lied about it. HRC was often accused of not being natural or personable or even human enough. And when they had the opportunity to show her as vulnerable human—just like all those deplorables in that basket—they tried to make it go away. It was rather Nixonesque. I’d say it was Kennedyesque or Rooseveltesque, but those two sickly bastards successfully covered up their crippling illnesses.
And now, during another election year when the democrats and liberals need to find common ground more than ever, here comes ’ol Hillary sticking her two cents into the increasingly contentious Democratic primary.
Yeah, it’s time for America to have a female president. More importantly, it’s time for America to have a competent president. That said, I’m still undecided on who I’ll support come my turn to vote in the primary. But I’ll tell you that there’s a two-in three chance that my vote will go to a woman. I’m just glad one of those options is not Hillary Clinton.
On the surface, it’s fine. Everyone has the right to voice their opinion and campaign for whom they would like to see get the party’s nomination. But Hillary Clinton should stay out of it. Because Hillary Clinton is a trigger.
She’s a reminder to the Right that the Left still has a Hillary Clinton—an elite, woman (eww, right republicans?) who insults them. She’s a reminder that 2016 was only four years ago and she lost to Donald fucking Trump after cheating along with the DNC to help get the party’s nomination. She’s a reminder that she’s a tone deaf almost-was POTUS who doesn’t offer anything new to the conversation.
Clinton said that no one likes Bernie Sanders. That he’s a career politician who got nothing done. So what? Couldn’t the same be said for Hillary? Yeah, it could be. And it has, in so many circles in so many ways. But so what? What good does it do to stir up shit in a contentious primary from the outside? Will it bolster Elizabeth Warren’s chances to win the party nomination? Maybe. But it may also have the adverse reaction and give Bernie the boost he needs to clinch things. Because HRC has this uncanny ability to make people vote against their best interests simply because they don’t want to be with her.
And maybe that’s Hillary’s game. Maybe shitting on Bernie is her way of campaigning for him. That’d be brilliant. But I doubt that’s what she’s doing. Because Hillary Clinton is too tone deaf to be that cunning.
Yeah, it’s time for America to have a female president. More importantly, it’s time for America to have a competent president. That said, I’m still undecided on who I’ll support come my turn to vote in the primary. But I’ll tell you that there’s a two-in three chance that my vote will go to a woman. I’m just glad one of those options is not Hillary Clinton.
Hillary Clinton should do what ex-presidents do: sit back, pop some popcorn, and watch the shitshow unfold. My God, the woman has earned that. She should relax, count her millions, enjoy time with her grandchildren. She should write more books. But no more about her successes or her failures or how her failures aren’t her fault. She should write political thrillers. I would love to read a novel rife with House of Cards-type intrigue, murder, sex, and corruption. Who knows that shit better than our girl HRC? Perhaps only her husband. (And please note, I’m not calling the Clintons corrupt, although, they did have Jeffrey Epstein killed, right? No? Oh, okay.)
The more Hillary Clinton weighs in on the campaign, the more she’ll divide the Democratic Party and the liberals. That is the last thing we need right now. If we don’t stick together and be reasonable with our disagreements through the primary, we’ll have a general election that will see the re-election of an impeached president. And that’s the second to last thing we need.
