By MT Cozzola

Not to make a metaphor out of everything, but my problem with this trip is my problem with this life: I want every possible future, so I distrust any choice that limits me to just one. Today I wanted to stop at Idaho Springs, the Arapahoe Forest, Vail, and a field of Bighorn sheep, but our reservation at the Grand Canyon starts in two days so we had to keep moving. With each skipped stop I missed more and more of our trip.

Dave was nervous about getting through the Eisenhower Tunnel. As we crossed the Rockies and saw warning signs about downhill grades, I wondered whether an RV is considered a truck or a car. Big signs advised trucks to stay in low gear. Should we stay in low gear too? There were runaway truck ramps. Can we use a runaway truck ramp?

To deal with steep grades, Dave engaged something called the tow-haul setting. He learned that if you tap the brake with this setting on, the rig will shift down. “I thought it was responding to me but it’s responding to the speed,” he explained after a crosswind almost pushed us off the road. “I should probably read the manual at some point.”

Newbie tip: Ether read the manual before you cross the Rockies, or nap in the back during this part.

Once again, we arrived at our campsite in the dark. I swear to God this is the last time. Rows upon rows of huge RVs with TVs glowing inside. There was a dark, narrow dog run and pickup trucks squealing around corners. The advantage of the grim vibe was that we hit the road early the next morning. In avoiding the depressing dog run I stumbled onto a mysterious sight up the road.

Today I’m seizing control of this metaphor and embracing a plan:

1. Drive through Arches National Park and stop for a hike.

2. Have lunch in Moab.

3. Arrive at the next site in time to grill out and watch the sunset.

Gas: 39.90 gallons, 355.4 miles, 8.9 MPG. Next stop: Monument Valley, Utah.