An Ass and His Dog

By J. L. Thurston

When I first met Loren, I did not immediately feel compelled to tell his story. He was not only physically repulsive, but his mannerisms caused everything within me to cringe.

Our first meeting was how I typically meet people these days. I was at work and he was an ER patient. It was my job to wheel him to my department, scan him, and return him to the ER in as little time as possible. That’s the real crunch of my job. Time. In the seven years I’ve slaved away as a CT technologist, I’ve just about mastered the art of efficiency. But with Loren, I knew all my experience and training meant zilch.

As soon as I stepped through the hospital curtain, he barked at me, “What’s this all about? Why have I been in here so long? They told me in Georgia I have cancer! I’m hungry! I’m thirsty! I’m cold! I’m in pain and no one has given me strong enough pain meds!”

I’m paraphrasing here, but not by much, I swear.

Let me tell you what I learned about Loren that day. He was homeless. Living in his truck with his old dog, Lady. Years ago, he’d moved up to Illinois from Georgia to marry an online girlfriend. According to him, just weeks after their marriage, she kicked him out of the house because of his multiple medical problems. After spending three minutes with Loren, I believed his medical problems were heavy in the mental health department.

For who-knows-how-long, it was just Loren and Lady. And he went nowhere without her. Yes. Even in the ER, the old Irish Setter was lying on the floor, gazing up lovingly at Loren with her brown puppy eyes.

The nurses were furious. A dog in the ER, and she wasn’t even a service dog. If it were any other medical facility, they’d be asked to leave. But where I work, you can literally sit in the ER with a steak knife and a fifth of vodka in your pocket. But that’s a story for another day.

I’m not just a dog lover, but an animal lover. Loren could have been complaining to me with an iguana on his shoulder and I’d have been grinning from ear to ear. So, I spent time I didn’t have assuring him his scan could be completed with Lady at his side.

After the scan and test results, he was discharged with a clean bill of health. I thought that’d be the last I’d see of him. The complaints he came to the ER for were probably just an excuse to be indoors, in a warm bed, with free food and water for a little while. I’m sure he also was looking for a few painkillers while he was at it.

A few months later, a nurse called down to my department. She was upset because a doctor wanted me to scan a patient, but the patient was refusing all tests unless his dog could come along.

“I told him,” she said, trying to be on my team. “We can’t have dogs close to your scanner. But he’s a real grumpy guy. Argues anything and everything.”

Looking at the order, I saw his name and knew who I was about to be dealing with. In my opinion, a cute dog and a grumpy homeless guy are far from the worse experiences to be had in the hospital.

I assured the nurse I’d handle it, hoping she’d shut her trap and prevent further agitation to a man I needed to be cooperative.

Upstairs, the greeting from Loren was the same. “Who are you? Where’s my pain meds? They’re going to kick me out of here because of my dog!”

I could tell this was going to be time-consuming, especially since he not only needed a CT scan but also an MRI. I was looking at him being around me for the next two hours. And that was if I could get him to hurry.

And he made it quite clear he was in the worst state of mind possible by telling me that if it weren’t for Lady, he’d kill himself.

“But she needs me,” he said, lovingly patting her head. “What would she do if I were gone?”

Long story short, it took a lot of talking, a lot of reassurances, and a lot of time to get Loren on the CT table and then on the MRI table. Especially since she could not be right next to him in the MRI scan room. She was forced to wait outside the door with the technologist.

Loren consented only after many reassurances that the MRI tech and I would do anything and everything to keep Lady happy. And we truly meant it. But Lady was the one who was not agreeable to the entire arrangement. Every minute Loren was out of her sight, Lady worried. She whined, she pawed at the door, she paced. It was plain to see they were never apart. No amount of petting, warm blankets, or even a short walk outside in the grass could deter her thoughts from her best friend.

Loren was a nasty old ass with a laundry list of mental health issues, but if Lady could love him like that, I couldn’t help but develop something close to fondness for the pair of them.

It was another few months before I saw Loren again. When I did, my jaw hit the floor. The MRI tech called me over to the room to help move Loren onto the table. I hadn’t seen the patient’s name on the order, and not until halfway through moving him did I realize who he was.

He had lost fifty pounds. He was as pale as a sheet and his skin was dry and cracking. He’d lost most of his hair and his eyes were bulging and wild. He either could not or would not move his extremities as we slid him from the cart to the MRI table. What made me recognize him was when the uncomfortable table sent him into a rant.

“This is hard! I’m cold! Where’s my pain meds?”

Something told me not to ask, “Hey Loren, where’s Lady?”

Later, I learned what had happened.

Loren really did have cancer. He really was diagnosed in Georgia and had not received medical treatment yet. His health steadily declined while he was homeless, but that wasn’t what killed him.

Loren was fine until he lost Lady. It looked like a seizure when she died. She was so old and didn’t exactly have a cushy life. When she died, Loren saw the whole thing. They were together for it, at least. That had to have been a comfort to the old girl.

I think it’s a horrible story, and one I never knew I’d feel inclined to tell. But I can’t help but think of Loren and Lady from time to time. He was one of my most unusual patients. Definitely unforgettable. And Lady, the sweet dog. She had to have been an angel on earth for that man. The only good thing in his life. What positive act had he committed to deserve such a loyal friend? And for them to die one after the other. It’s bitter, it’s despairing.

But I like to think Lady died first so she could plead for a spot in Heaven for Loren. If anyone could convince God of someone’s good nature, it would be her. And that’s where I like to think of them. Side by side forever.