By David Himmel

 • Marriage in a heterosexual relationship is, apparently, having more confidence in the things your wife tells you you’re doing wrong.

• If you like stocking up on horror movies and TV during October, I highly recommend watching the news. But then you have to watch the news, which is as much scary as it is unfun.

• Most of the drunks I’ve come to know are really fun and funny people. I miss carousing with and observing with their kind. It’s not COVID’s fault—it’s the fault of age, responsibility, and domestication. The silver lining is that my two-year-old son often acts and talks like a drunkard, which quenches my thirst for being among fun lunatics with bad habits.

• When I’m alone and I hear the noises I subconsciously make, I liken them to the sounds of an old house settling. I am an old house; familiar, charming, and hardly worth the trouble.

• Never forget the dearly departed. Do your best to forget your exes.

• I am way overdue to break my conditioning. The time is now for getting uncomfortable as a way to find a better kind of comfort.