By David Himmel

• Mike Pence is a virgin. I know he has kids—it doesn’t matter. Mike Pence is a virgin.

• Ovaltine is far superior to Nesquik.

• The more time I spend in the city, the more I realize I want to take my progressive values to live among the more natural aspects of nature. Anyplace, really, where the mice outnumber the rats and the starlight is brighter than the streetlights.

• Seeing Trump flags gives me the same gut-churning feeling as seeing Nazi flags. And more and more, so, too, does seeing Old Glory.

• Wealthier people require poorer people so they can feel rich. And that’s humanity’s greatest foible.

• Domestication is not an ideal state of being for the determined, the intelligent, and the unique. It is ideal for those who want to be loved.