By Joe Janes

Film Review

“Cat Misses Jump” Misses the Mark — A Film Review

½ Star

By Leonard Stevens

mAggie PdQ, the auteur of Cat Misses Jump, debuted her video over the weekend on her YouTube Channel. Not much is known about mAggie PdQ other than that she likes cats, and according to her filmography/video history, has gone to that well relentlessly. Her other titles include, Cat Walks Into Window, Cat Eats Plastic and Throws Up, Cat Snores While Sleeping and, her most populist, Cat Startled By Own Fart.

Many writer/directors have recurring subjects in their films. How often did Hitchcock explore the everyman being thrust into danger via a mysterious adventure? While that is all fine and good in the right hands, mAggie PdQ has nothing new to say here. Her cat and - as she states in her description, mewse – is Eggnog. Eggnog is clearly a few pegs down on the cat evolutionary scale. This is not her fault and, as a performer, I must say she is always game and willing to unselfconsciously put her failures on display. It is the only redeeming value of these poorly lit, muffled audio, handheld productions. For most actors, Eggnog’s brave vulnerability is a tremendous strength exemplified by such luminaries as Streep, Dench, and Hanks. For Eggnog, her artistic risks are undercut by a director who gives away the story in her titles. There is no attempt by mAggie PdQ to build suspense. Will Eggnog make the jump from the coffee table to the sofa. No, she will not. How do I know? I read the title. mAggie PdQ could at least put another cat in the shot so that I might wonder which cat will not make the jump. 

Cat Misses Jump—that’s :18 seconds of my life that I will never get back. 

mAggie PdQ’s channel boasts a preposterous 2,314 followers at the time of this review. My question is simply…Why? Are they all relatives? Are they all cat lovers who possess a dark streak that revels in watching poor Eggnog inelegantly smash her way through what must be her seventh or eighth life? How is this not some ethical animal treatment violation? 

If mAggie PdQ continues to pursue her career without variation, I highly encourage her subscribers to pitch in and buy Eggnog a safety helmet. And, for God’s sake, mAggie PdQ, if you see your cat eating plastic, put down the camera and take it out of her mouth. Stop profiting from a dumb animal’s poor calculations. I am concerned that mAggie PdQ’s thirst for internet notoriety will lead to such horrors as Cat Licks Electrical Socket or Cat Jumps Into Woodchipper.

Leonard Stevens viewed Cat Misses Jump streaming for free on YouTube. He really misses going to the theater.