By David Himmel

• Writing is hard. So is breaking the habit of biting your nails. The trick is to do one more than the other.

• This pandemic needs to be put behind us NOW! I don’t care about the economy. My kid fucking hates the elastic strap of his face masks against his hair. I can deal with quarantining, but this might break us all.

• I don’t have many regrets, but one of the greatest is staying together with spending too much time with the wrong women and not enough with the right. I’m beginning to feel the same way about my Facebook friends. 

• The loudest, most proud among us is also the most lacking in true confidence.

• A lot of people have gotten new puppies during this pandemic. Look, if you need an excuse to go outside, just start smoking. It’s cheaper and cleaner. And I’ve never had to scrub cigarette poo-poo out of a carpet.

• Since the beginning of this quarantine I’ve become extremely interested in absolutely nothing.