By David Himmel

• Thank God Don Rickles is already dead.

• I’m not complaining, I’m simply saying there’s always room for improvement. Married two gender people would be much happier if wives acted like girlfriends and husbands acted like they were still perusing the girl who isn’t all that interested. We are our best relationship selves then.

• Comparing tragedies and grievances often expose your passive racism. Be careful. More importantly, please be aware.

• I don’t support looting in response to outrage. However, I don’t give one iota of shit about Downtown Chicago’s bottom line. There’s plenty of money in those big companies that if they really cared, they could take care of their workers. And maybe at this point, we should just burn it all down. Expose the brittle bones of this economy for what they are: broken.

• To the morons go the spoils.

• Gym memberships, maintaining a balanced diet… staying healthy is not cheap. And getting sick can land you in the poorhouse. Dying is the most fiscally responsible thing we can do.