By Don Hall

From Slate:

Q. Conflicted on Harry Potter: I am a mom of three, and my oldest son came out as a trans boy when he was in first grade. He is now 15, and everyone has tried very hard to support him, including his younger brothers. My youngest is 8, and his third-grade teacher read to his class the first Harry Potter book. He loves it and has been asking to read the other books with me and to get him his own wand for Christmas. I read the whole series to my older sons when they were that age and they both used to love it. But my oldest has asked me not to read the books to his younger brother and not to buy Harry Potter merchandise because it would feel to him that I was supporting J.K. Rowling’s horrible anti-trans comments.

I do not agree with Rowling at all and don’t want to invalidate my older son’s feelings, but is it possible to separate art from artist here? I suggested maybe talking about how and why what Rowling said was wrong before reading Harry Potter, but my son said that still meant I was supporting Rowling by letting his brother read her work anyway. Is there anything I can do? I want to let my youngest enjoy the world of Harry Potter without supporting a bigot and disappointing my oldest.

Rather than suggest that your younger son learn to separate the art from the artist, I'd suggest you teach the older brother to separate fact from trans propaganda.

Encourage your fifteen-year-old to read what Rowling has written on the subject to understand that she is far from transphobic but is, instead, an advocate for women's rights. At fifteen, your son may be unable to grasp the complexities of Rowling's position but if he was able to come out as trans at seven years old, I think he'll have to find his way into the complex nature of someone else's perspective.

Rowling sees the trans movement (as opposed to trans rights) as an erasure of the strides made by women in support of women's rights. At no point does she make the case that transgender women do not deserve the same rights as women merely that the two are not the same nor should they be.

I appreciate your empathy to avoid invalidating your son's feelings but, at some point, he will have to learn that his feelings do not and will never determine the behavior of others nor should they. The world at large couldn't care less how he feels about Harry Potter and if the fact that these books will continue to be tales told for generations to adoring fans, that these books could almost be single-handedly praised as a gateway to children embracing reading books, causes him emotional distress perhaps it is he who has the problem.

Children feel violated by a host of things: eating vegetables, the lack of privacy rights as pertains to their school lockers, rides that discriminate over height. As an adult, you should understand that a child's feelings are subject to whim in most cases and unless he is being physically abused, he'll need to find a way to get past them.