By David Himmel

• Sometimes, presenting to a client is the same as doing a shitty open mic in a nearly empty bar. The biggest difference is that in a pitch meeting, you’re fighting through uncomfortable silences with millions of dollars at stake instead of the dream that Johnny Carson—who is still dead and no longer on the air—will call you over to the couch.

• Has there ever been a king named Simon? Because that seems like a good name for a king since everyone must do what Simon says.

• Green onions do not belong in chive cream cheese.

• Most people won’t care what you think. But there is a small cadre that is interested in why you think what you do. Come to terms with that and communication will become a whole lot easier.

• Even Chicago’s best day in fall, it’s most perfectly colored and sweatered day makes me long for the quieting warmth of a desert autumn.

• Ryan Murphy is the most overrated television producer working today. Fight me.