By David Himmel 

• I think we, as a people, should collectively decide that we’re going to maintain the myth that Santa Claus is real. It works to keep children on their best behavior, it will do the same for adults, too, so long as we all commit to it. That will require those who do not celebrate Christmas to then play the role of Santa so the duped, but well-behaved adults and kids still get presents.

• Hard work doesn’t set you free; it imprisons you in a cage of productivity.

• The first two minutes of And Just Like That, the Sex and the City spin-off, is worse than the entire day of Sept. 11, 2001.

• Crippling anxiety is real cute until it’s someone else’s you’re dealing with.

• It’s not that I have any inclination to do such a thing, but sometimes I miss getting wildly drunk, slapping on a condom and fucking a complete stranger at her place so I can leave and puke on the sidewalk then laugh about it as I disappear from her life forever.

• Working from home means not having to trim your nose hairs.