by Joe Janes

Letter to the Editor

Tippecanoe Gazette

Tipp City, Ohio

February 24, 2021

Dears Sirs,

This is the hill upon which I shall die. Okay, it’s more than just one hill. Rolling hills, I guess you’d call them. Mounds, maybe. Wake up, sheeple! I am overflowing with disgust at the blindness that has fallen over the eyes of liberals and their ilk, which now also includes many republicans. Joe Biden is not Joe Biden. He is an actor who replaced Joe Biden and the “current” administration is a sham and a shame and a Shamu (a killed whale). Our true president will take back his rightful place in the Oval Office this Sunday. Or next Thursday. Sometime soon! While the democrats are whooping it up with Hollywood celebs like Tom Hanks and that guy who played “Donny” in that movie, the Trump army is fomenting. While they have sex with babies that they pass around like a joint at a Doobies Brothers concert, we true patriots are taking action. Action like, displaying our guns prominently in our homes for selfies. I am done lubricating my AR-15 with liberal tears. Tears are salty and make a lousy lube. Now, I’m ready to try liberal BLOOD. That will probably work better until the blood dries so I will have to use my rifle fast. My president, the glorious and impervious Donald J. Trump, had his re-election STOLEN from him. We all saw it. On Election Day, he was ahead. He won. And then the liberals (and their ilk) counted so-called mail-in votes from people who thought it was smarter to vote from home during a pandemic. Ha! There is no pandemic. 500,000 people would have died anyway. They just happened to have the COVID when they tripped or heart attacked or other preconceived condition. That’s science! Our leader, Donald J. Trump, got the COVID and it was nothing but some sniffles. Masks and vaccines are just ways for rich democRATS to try to control you. Masks make you drowsy from lack of oxygen and unable to think (or vote) clearly. The vaccine is funded by a billionaire who wants to track your every move and make sure your picture shows up when you use their search engine looking for “dumb”. If you have to look up the word “dumb”, then you’re “dumb” and YOUR picture should show up. The left, those people over there, on the left, want you to think Trump supporters stormed the capitol building in DC on January 6th. Those were all actors hired by more rich bleeding-heart libs whose only goal was to make my one and true shining orange light, Donald J. Trump, look bad. You can tell they were actors, because their gallows looked rickety and that noose was pathic. Couldn’t hang ham on that thing without it collapsing. Sorry, jerks. Making our very handsome commander look bad didn’t work. Donald J. Trump is currently in the southern White House-A-Largo meeting with world leaders to make plans and golf. Listen up, patriots! You all can relax. Come March 4th, we’ll go back to being a republic and Mein Trump will be inaugurated and become the 45th and  19th president of the United States. We’re setting the presidential clock back to Ulysses S Grant, which means Kenyan and ANTIFA lover, Barrack Hussein Obama, will never have been president. We, the true chosen-by-God followers of our chosen-by-God president are taking our chosen-by-God country back and making it still great again and really draining the smelly ass swamp of DEMONcrats who keep trying to shove socialist healthcare and stimulus checks down our throats. Pray for us. It’s like voting on your knees and God counts ALL the votes. I’m ready to fight! I’ve got new wheels on my chair that are better for going over grassy areas and I carry extra air tanks that can be used for bludgeoning injustice (and police). I fly my flag proudly on the back of my wheelchair and wear it on my hat, polyester onesie, and red, white, and blue makeup on my face. I don’t have a wife anymore, so I had to learn how to do that myself with TikTak tutorials. 

One Nation Under My GOD,

Dr. Toby Jefferson Wischer, MD