by Don Hall

There was something off about Oprah Winfrey’s reaction.

In the interview, she did her due diligence, quietly asking concerned questions about Meghan’s experience with marrying into the British Royal family. She did that Oprah thing and easily exposed the pain and tragedy of two ridiculously wealthy people in crisis.

Then Meghan stated what should not have been any sort of huge surprise: someone in the Royals was concerned her baby would be black.

Oprah’s face lit up in mock (but not) horror and outrage as if this possibility was so outside the realm of human understanding one would think Meghan confessed to the Royals tying her down and collectively urinating on her while singing “Camptown Races.”

Why would anyone be surprised into outrage at the idea of a Royal Dynasty comprised almost entirely of white inbreds wondering to themselves and in at least one case out loud about having a mixed race baby in the royal fold? Hasn’t Oprah watched The Crown? Or pretty much any film about the British monarchy?

This instance illuminates that most of our outrage in public and online is theater. Acting outraged is more important than genuine outrage these days. Hyperbole is the new black(face).

The Dr. Seuss Foundation decides six of their books contain some outdated racial depictions and take them off the market? OH THE HUMANITY! It's the end of Free Speech and our childhoods are being destroyed! This—THIS—is the fuel that has caused anti-Asian violence that threatens the lives of everyone Asian! HOLY FUCKBALLS!

In Western North Carolina, four in five children don't have enough healthy food to eat. {...crickets...}

Sharon Osbourne is accused of being 'racist adjacent' (she defends Piers Morgan, who is accused of being racist so she must be racist by proximity) and is under investigation by CBS. Jesus Christ! Racism is pouring out of every orifice like the sweat off of Nixon's forehead! All hell is breaking loose! LOSE OUR COLLECTIVE MINDS!!

The American Society of Civil Engineers (ASCE) has compiled regular “report cards” on the state of U.S. infrastructure since the 1980s. In its 2017 report, the ASCE found that the nation’s infrastructure averaged a “D+,” meaning that conditions were “mostly below standard,” exhibiting “significant deterioration,” with a “strong risk of failure.” {...silence...}

Discrimination and stigma when seeking menstrual and reproductive care – ranging from treatment for an irregular menstrual cycle to pap smears and cervical cancer screenings – are further obstacles for transgender people who menstruate. OMG! Let's burn down the country! This shit is of the utmost importance! What a horror! OUTRAGE BONER (while also menstruating)!

5.3% of the United States population—or 17.3 million people—live in deep poverty, with incomes below 50% of their poverty thresholds. 29.9% of the population—or 93.6 million—live close to poverty, with incomes less than two times that of their poverty thresholds. {...yeah, OK. But what about the undocumented?...}

As Spock would say "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Or the one." 

"Except for when it means my needs!" cry the pre-Twitter disenfranchised. Unfortunately, those starving kids and the 17.3 million people in deep poverty don't have Twitter accounts, do they? This is a directed campaign of selected outrage, throwing up our arms and clutching our pearls at the horrors of living in a "no shit" world. Ignoring the larger issues to focus exclusively on the sexy problems of the day is the road paved by social media.

The larger the numbers, the less important it seems in terms of activism. 93.6 million is abstract. It's such a daunting number that our dainty minds have a difficult time pouncing on it. Five is more manageable. "Five shot dead in a grocery store" is easier to gin up outrage than any number larger than, say, a thousand. In terms of extreme outrage, one murdered person caught on smartphone is worth 5,000 murdered out of sight.

Is the hyperbole justified? Perhaps. With so much information swirling up around our necks like those quicksand pools in 1930’s movies set in Africa, maybe the only way to be heard in any form is to be over-the-top. There is, however, a razor’s edge between injustice revealed and complete silliness.

While I’m certain Meghan Markle had a hard experience dealing with the Whitey McWhiteness of the Royal Incestuous it’s hardly surprising or terribly relevant to anyone but that crowd of idiots so who, beyond the immediately affected, gives a hot fuck?

Today, not only do we have to parse out which information is misinformation., we also have to be able to suss out which outrage is genuine. The outrage for the silliest things like a plastic potato being branded as gender-neutral or the idea that math is white supremacy is nothing more than theater. Ignore it. Move on to shit that matters.