By David Himmel

• If you don’t have an inherent thirst to question authority, you’re probably not a very interesting person. And when I say authority, I don’t mean questioning scientific fact.

• All those kids who identified as hippies in high school in the ’90s likely never had a revolutionary thought of their own. The most dangerous thing they did was listen to a Dave Matthews tape while speeding in their Jeep Cherokees.

• I try really hard to not hold unfair, blanket assumptions about groups of people. But people with PCs make me sad. Like, sadder than seeing refugee babies wash up on shore.

• The guilty verdict in the Derek Chauvin trial is a big win for police reform but it doesn’t mean we’re done. Unfortunately, it means white racists will say, “See, we fixed it!” Just like the election of Barak Obama to the U.S. presidency was a win for racial equality. Unfortunately, that meant superficial white liberals could say, “See, we fixed it!” 

• I got my first vaccine shot and my penis grew eight inches! That makes my penis a whopping two inches!

• Silence is golden; social media is shit-colored rust.