By David Himmel

• I identify as a man. A guy. Therefore, calling myself “not a numbers guy” is not problematic in any way, shape, or form. Calling me out on it, however, is.

• Former pig police officer turned murder defendant Derek Chauvin has been taking a lot of notes throughout the murder trial of George Floyd. I bet it’s just the N-word over and over and over again.

• Self-loathing is only effective when done in private.

• Self-care is not annoying only when done in private.

• Waving a Trump 2020 flag in April 2021 is almost as pathetic as rooting for your high school sports team past the age of twenty-five. Both equally tell us the kind of assbag you are and have always been.

• Corporations don’t care about voting laws. They care about vending machine and product placement deals. That’s it. Coca-Cola is only pissed about Georgia’s racist voting laws because they can’t hand out Dasani water within 15 feet of the polls.