The Intolerance of Tolerance and Why Being Uncomfortable Sometimes Helps Us All
"So, where're you from?"
The Asian 22-year old waitress went from pleasant and helpful to instantly indignant as if she were looking to be insulted at a moment's notice.
"America. Why? Do you think assuming I'm from Taiwan or something is somehow cool?"
"No. No. It's Vegas. Everyone is from someplace else. I'm from Chicago."
"There you go. Centering things on you!"
She's getting loud. I notice a guy at the bar staring at us.
"She's just..."
"THEY! My pronouns are they and them!"
"Ok. Ok. Sorry. Maybe you should wear a badge or something..."
"My pronouns are my business. Your privilege is screaming in my face, Mr. White Creepy Old Man!"
"Hold on, please. I get it.
Did you know, back in the forties a dude named Karl Popper posited the "Paradox of Tolerance?" His concept was this:
If everyone is tolerant of every idea, then intolerant ideas will bubble up in the discourse. Tolerant people will then tolerate these intolerant ideas, but the intolerant people will not tolerate the tolerance. Naturally, the intolerant people will create an entire system of intolerance. To maintain a society of tolerance, the tolerant must be intolerant of intolerance."
"What?"
"He suggested the Paradox of Tolerance to explain why a country full of otherwise good people allowed Hitler to come to power and commit so many atrocities. The idea is that it’s acceptable to be an asshole to someone because they, too, are an asshole."
"Are you mansplaining? He's mansplaining me!"
Two more waitresses emerge from the back of the house. One is carrying a pitchfork. The other a Zippo lighter and some coconut husk.
"Here's the problem—it’s not often clear what defines "tolerance" and "intolerance." If a stand up made a joke about the gays in 1992, is that intolerance? If a scientist finds that there are genuine and substantive differences between biological men and biological women, is that intolerance? If an Evangelical Christian avoids an Atheist in public, is that intolerance?
The definition of an intolerant person has become so mushy and swampy that it might as well mean, someone who believes things that make me feel uncomfortable or angry."
I smell something burning. I look down and notice the coconut husks have been tucked into my shoes and my feet are on fire. I start to get up but a pitchfork is suddenly thrust into my right thigh, going through the bone and muscle and then through the chair.
"Ouch! This inevitably devolves into a torrent of cunt-y, self-righteous conduct. Bob decides that Lucy’s behavior is intolerant and a threat to society. Lucy then decides that it is morally correct to be intolerant of Bob and cancel him.
But then, Jared walks by and notices Lucy being a totally intolerant shitstain to Bob. Jared decides that it’s morally correct to be actively intolerant of Lucy. Then Myra skips by, notices Jared being inhumanely intolerant towards Lucy."
The first waitress grabs both sides of my face, her...uh..their face contorted into the cover of Fangoria Magazine and screams in an almost inhuman bloodthirsty screech "WHO THE FUCK IS LUCY???"
"The irony is that in order to practice tolerance, you must be willing to sit with things that you disagree with or make you uncomfortable. Yet, if your ethic is that no one should ever be upset or uncomfortable, then you make any sort of tolerance impossible."
I start to feel woozy as the flames start to crisp up the skin on my legs and the blood loss from the pitchfork is increasing. My cargo shorts flame up and the intense pain becomes almost pleasurable. I see my life ebbing away. Then Scott Whitehair, dressed as a vampire, jumps out from behind the bar and sardonically says "Check, please."
Then I wake up with a yelp.
I instantly grab my phone and type "Note to Self: do NOT read Twitter while drinking whiskey and eating a Domino's MeatLover's Pizza. It doesn't end well."
