By David Himmel

• There are two common misconceptions made by the inexperienced: 1. You will screw on your wedding night; 2. You will screw on your first night after moving into a new house. Ignorance is not bliss. Ignorance is horny.

• Advice when you’re new to the neighborhood: Get to know your neighbors before they get to know you. 

• The reason this country will never find a peaceful middle ground to exist in is because domestic partners take great offense to the way the other packs and unpacks boxes. A peaceful country is way too big a problem for our simple lizard brains.

 • Some of us choose to carry physical items with us through every life chapter and home because those things remind us of yesterday’s time and people. This is how we keep our memories. Without encompassing physical reminders, we easily forget where we came from, and who we are and why.

• I never thought I’d find myself at this place but here we are… It’s time to relegate the word “hoarder” to the dustbin with the N-word and the R-word. The H-word is too often and easily thrown about, thus misrepresenting its intended meaning and insulting the recipient.

 • There is a fine line between leadership and dictatorship. Unfortunately, we can’t find which box we packed it in.