By David Himmel

• There is no smell more foul than that of a Starbucks bacon and egg sandwich at O’Hare airport at 4 a.m.

• Donald Trump shuttered his dumb little blog after less than a month because no one was reading it. Ha! No one reads this dumb little blog but we’ve kept it going for almost five years now. Gotta have a thick skin to stay afloat in the dumb little blog game. Maybe Hall and I should run for office.

• I’m traveling for work for two days. What makes me a worse husband: leaving with the kitchen a horror show or leaving the child screaming for me at 3 a.m. after I woke him kissing him goodbye?

• Here’s a completely made up—just now—statistic I would believe without hesitancy if real sociologists reported it: 76 percent of American newlyweds who wear matching Wifey and Hubby hats will divorce before their fifteenth anniversary.

• Sometimes holding your liquor is just as bad as holding a feral honey badger in heat and on cocaine.

• Virginia mornings are prettier than Chicago mornings. Unless you’re waking up next to my wife. But, hey, buddy, you best not be waking up next to my wife.