by Joe Janes

In McCARTNEY 3, 2, 1 on Hulu, Paul McCartney sat down for a series of six interviews with David Letterman’s beard. Even diehard Beatles fans were surprised by the many revelations. 

Here are the 10 most shocking!

-       Paul confirmed that he was, indeed, the Walrus. It was a way to make some extra money. His duties included greeting customers at the Apple clothing store, cleaning toilets, and entertaining crowds at the Devonshire Walruses cricket matches. 

-       Penny Lane was originally called Farthing Lane, but he changed it to shamelessly pander to American audiences. 

-       Yoko didn’t break up the band. Her constant presence, however, caused tension by increasing the snack table budget in the studio. She enjoyed more than her fair share of deli meats. 

-       Insisted he’s still just a lad from Liverpool whose valet puts his trousers on him one talcum-powdered silk-stocking wearing leg at a time. 

-       Yesterday was originally called Scrambled Eggs and was 127 verses and over two hours long including a 20-minute belly slapping solo by Ringo. 

-       Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds is about LSD – Lightly Sprinkled Donuts. John had a problem. 

-       To play live shows these days that are over three hours long he had his bass rigged with an apparatus that he pees into. It’s technically a Rickenbacker bass/urinal. Helter Skelter is his favorite song with which to relieve himself because he can “jump up and down and shake things off a bit.”

-       Episode Three is devoted to a 30-minute tirade of Paul angrily defending Why Don’t We Do It In The Road as the best Beatles song ever. 

-       Paul confirmed that the original Paul died in a car crash in 1966. The second Paul died in 1976 just before recording Silly Love Songs. The third Paul died in 1982, just before recording The Girl Is Mine with Michael Jackson. He is the fourth and longest living Paul, but a fifth is ready to step in should anything happen. 

-       Coincidentally, all of The Beatles died in the 60s at different times and were replaced by lookalikes. None of them were musical, though, and all The Beatles recordings post-1967 were written and performed by Iggy Blumpkin’s Shaky Legs One-Man Band Extravaganza. 

-       All Beatles songs have backward messages in them. If you play I Want To Hold Your Hand backwards, it savagely berates a waiter for serving cold soup.