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What Else Can We Name After President Donald J. Trump?

Keep the windows rolled up and wear a condom.

by Joe Janes

What else can we name after President Donald J. Trump?

 

Florida state Rep. Anthony Sabatini (R) drew backlash and mockery on Monday after he proposed legislation to rename U.S. Route 27 — which runs through his state — after Donald Trump. Sabatini, who is running for Congress in 2022, asked people on Twitter to sign a petition “to name Florida’s longest road” the “President Donald J. Trump Highway” to “honor one of America’s greatest Presidents.”

This, of course, is a brilliant idea whose timing comes when President Biden and a democratic congress are moving forward with a popular and massive infrastructure bill. In case you need reminding, nearly every week of Trump’s term was labeled “infrastructure week” with no results. His plans for infrastructure week are lost in a drawer stuffed with Adderall, Diet Coke, and the world’s most beautiful healthcare plan. 

Given his success record, what else should be named after President Donald J. Trump?

 

We at The Minutes of Our Last Meeting have a few suggestions.

 

-       The President Donald J. Trump Memorial Hospital ICU & Mobile Battalion of Refrigerated Trucks

-       The President Donald J. Trump Home for Golfers & Abused Women

-       The President Trump Offical Presidential Library (just a kiosk between sunglasses and smartphone covers at a dying mall in southern Florida)

-       The President Donald J. Trump Academy of Arts & Sciences at Fordham University (It’s just an outhouse with some magazines in it)

-       The President Donald J. Trump Memorial In ‘n’ Out Burger

-       The President Donald J. Trump Society for Justice

-       The President Donald J. Trump Anti-Racist Sports Arena (look at all the black players not kneeling!)

-       The President Donald J. Trump Memorial Men’s Bathroom at the Port Authority Bus Station in New York City (This one we can get behind)

 

Do you have any suggestions on what can be named to commemorate our “greatest” president? Leave your ideas in the comments. 

 

Sincerely,

President Donald J. Trump Memorial Minutes of Our Last Meeting

HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!! Oh. Wait. This is real.