By Wayne Lerner

THE QUIET ENVELOPED HIS MIND AND CALMED HIS BODY. Early morning time in the office was his favorite. No appointments on his calendar. No interruptions from unwanted visitors, no commotion in the hallways, no complaints from the medical staff, at least not yet. Just the opportunity to think and enjoy his first cup of coffee. 

David cradled the steaming coffee like it was his only source of heat on a cold and snowy day. The bitter french roast, infused with high levels of caffeine, awakened his groggy mind. His favorite mug, a gift from his daughter, held his magic potion. Without the coffee, he found it impossible to jumpstart the day. 

The motto on the mug reminded him how to approach the challenges which confronted him each day. Everything will be fucking okay, it said. 

No way. This job’s killing me. How will everything be okay? I’m supposed to be in charge. Bullshit! Most days, I feel like a puppet whose strings are being pulled by everyone here. 

He slammed his palm against his desk. The stinging pain brought him back to reality. 

Oh, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Be a big boy. 

This is what you asked for, so deal with it. 

David looked at his calendar and cringed, then smiled. 6:30 dinner meeting with the employee advisory committee to discuss how to make the organization more patient friendly. That would be the only event he would enjoy that day. 

Of course, there are assholes but there are good people too. They’re the ones who need your guidance and leadership. If you’re so fed up with the situation, then leave. Walk away. Find another place that suits you better 

He opened his desk drawer and looked at his pay stub. 

Can’t, huh? The golden handcuffs got you, don’t they? 

And the rep of the place gives you creds others would just dream of. 

With the good comes bad shit. It’s right there in the job description. Remember that. Have balls, would you? 

The ringing of the phone reverberated throughout the office. You can tell who’s calling by the ring, whether it’s a good call or one which foretells disaster. The phone knows. Its voice sends you a message, You have to be smart enough, open enough, to understand its language. 

When his Mother died, the ring was soft and sorrowful. When his wife called to tell him the results of her pregnancy test, after so many tries, the ring was loud and exuberant. When the ring hesitates and then continues, like a heart which skips a beat, it’s someone you don’t know, a wrong number or a salesman. 

Today, the ring was jarring. The sound bounced off the walls of his office. It was an ominous ring. He knew there was bad news coming. Not just bad news, catastrophic news. The phone’s voice entered his body, pounding his head and hurting his ears. 

His eyes locked on the caller ID and recognized the name. Linda was the chief legal officer, a holdover from the previous administration. Linda made it known to everyone that she didn't like him. Her pipeline to the Board Chair was a well-known fact. His quietude was over. And maybe, with it, this time, his career. 

“Good morning, Linda,” he said in the cheeriest voice he could manufacture. “What can I do for you this glorious morning?” 

This isn’t a social call. She never calls unless there is something wrong. And, with Linda, there's always something wrong. 

“You got a call from the Feds! This morning? What did they want?” 

He could see her face as he spoke. She was a dour woman who loved to zing him any time she could. If she was ever happy, he never saw it. Since she only saw the darkside of life, he knew this call meant something horrible was about to happen. 

“They said they received an EEO claim against one of our senior officers? Which one?” “No, it can’t be true. We’re already investigating him for how he spent the funds in his budget.” 

We’re just about ready to hammer that bastard with the evidence Linda and the forensic accounting firm compiled. 

“Copies of the claim have been sent to the Board Chair as well! OMG! I don’t have enough trouble with him. Now this shit is happening!” 

“I’m sorry. I'm not shouting at you. It is not your doing.” 

“What do you mean it's mine? Gary was a holdover from the prior administration.” Just like you, you witch! 

“And the Board likes him or at least they did.” 

“What? There’s more?’ 

“The claim’s for sexual harassment? And the victim’s a person of color!” 

Jesus Christ! It’s not even 8:30 yet. The shit keeps piling up. 

“What do you mean, man up. You don’t need to tell me that there are no good days for a CEO, just acceptable ones.” 

Linda reminds me almost everyday. If there's crap on the floor, it's mine, so pick it up. 

His heart and breathing began to race as he felt himself losing control. He tried to slow everything down by practicing yoga breathing but nothing seemed to work. 

The end of the line’s in sight. Now, my alleged supporters will rejoice! 

David’s predecessor had been given a seat on the Board when he was cajoled into retirement. He wasn't thrilled with David and neither was the Board Chair. They wanted someone with a different background but David was the choice of the search committee. 

“Linda, I have to go. The Chair is on the other line.” 

“I’ll loop back with you when we’re done. Then, you and I can plot a strategy to deal with the EEO suit.” 

“Yes, there will be fallout from the financial investigation. It’s not going to be easy but I’m sure we can find a way to minimize the damage.” 

He heard Linda chuckle under her breath as she hung up 

David’s shoulder and neck tensed as he picked up the phone. He knew this was going to be yet another miserable call. 

“Good morning, Sam. How’s your merger negotiations going? The reports in the papers have been quite positive.” 

“Yes, I know all about the call from the Feds and the letter we received on the investigation. I guess Linda must have called you, huh?” 

That bitch! She has made it her life’s work to fuck me over. 

“She and I will be meeting with our outside counsel in an hour. I’m confident we can settle the issues with little public fallout.” 

“You heard about it this morning on the train?” David paused. “If I may ask, from whom?” “No way. I can’t believe there’s such a gigantic leak in the organization.” 

“How do you think he heard about it?’ 

“His brother works for the government?” 

So much for confidentiality. 

“Yes, I’ll call you just as soon as Linda and I are done with our meeting.” 

“Yes, I know this is embarrassing for you and the organization.” 

“Yes, I know we are getting ready to go out with a big fund raising drive.” Christ! Being interrogated yet again. 

“Yes, I know this will make the ask much harder.” 

“We’ll have to control the message to remind them of all the good we do here.” “No, I’m not minimizing the impact bad PR can have. We’ll fix this, I assure you.” “Sam, Our biggest admitter’s on the other line, I’ll call you later. OK? Thanks.” “Hi, George. What’s going on in the Ortho world these days?” 

“What do you mean you're leaving the hospital?” 

You can’t leave, you asshole. 

You're the chair of the department and just signed a new contract. 

“We didn’t breach our agreement. We gave you everything you wanted and more! We’re building a separate building for you and have doubled the number of staff you can recruit.” 

“We did not permanently reallocate your operating room time to general surgery.” 

“There was no one on your room schedule at the time that a series of emergency cases hit the ER. We both know they take priority. That’s why we gave the surgeons permission to use the operating rooms, just this one time.” 

“Yes, I know we should have called you first but this was an emergency. I thought you wouldn’t have an issue helping out a fellow surgeon and his patients.” 

We can’t allow the ORs to lie fallow until you need them, you slime ball. You know that. You’re making a stand anyway. I wonder what you really want. 

“This is what you mean when you say we breached your contract?” 

“Sure, have your lawyer call me and I’ll connect him with Linda.” 

“Don’t do anything rash, George. This misunderstanding is not one to take an action all of us will regret. It will be fixed.” 

David slammed the phone down and tried to gain his composure. His administrative assistant came in at the sound of the noise. 

“Jean, would you please cancel my next few meetings? I have a slew of problems to resolve and don’t know how long this will take.” 

“Yes, get Linda on the phone. I need to start with her.” 

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” 

“Gail from Spencer Stuart called when I was on with George? Do you know what she wanted?” 

Gail calls me when she needs a reference on someone or to jump the line to get in to see a doctor. 

“Oh, she wanted to talk with me, said it was personal. I hope she’s ok. I’ll call her back before I deal with Linda.” 

“Gail? It’s David. Yes, I’m doing fine. What can I do for you?” 

“Can you repeat that?” 

“Where’s the job opportunity? Can you tell me what I’ll be walking into?” 

Neither you nor I knew the real lay of the land when you recruited me here. The Search Committee and the Board were not truthful with either of us, it turned out. 

“Yes, you can’t manage an organization when your revered predecessor is looking over your shoulder and reporting every action you take to the Board Chair.” 

I don’t want to jump from one fire to another. I need to make sure I understand the real culture of the organization, not the PR version. 

“This place thrives on internecine warfare, Gail. You don’t know who is going to stab you first.” “Sure, I’ll meet with you. Tomorrow will be fine. Your office? 10am? I’ll be there.” 

It's only 9:15 and I’m exhausted. Well, let’s get on with this circus and see if we can save it from itself. 

“Jean, please get Linda on the phone and tie in our outside lawyers. Thanks.” 

He reached for his mug but the coffee had gone cold. He rose to get himself a refill when the phone rang. Jean was on the other line so he reached to pick up the phone. 

This time, the sound was quiet and smooth. Its voice entered his soul like Barber’s Adagio for Strings does every time he hears it. His heart rate slowed down and he began to take deep, cleansing breaths. 

David picked up the phone. 

“Yes, I’m the CEO. What can I do for you?” 

The mug was right.