By David Himmel

• Hotels without pools should be shut down.

• I’m in favor of bringing back the duel as a means of solving political disputes. Not for the People in the streets, but a sanctioned duel between elected officials. They all want to kill each other and at this point, it will be far more effective in getting things passed. Although, that’d be bad news for the Democrats. Unless Sen. Chuck Schumer can build up enough arm muscle to point a pistol. 

• January 2022 has been a deadly month for celebrities. Most of us don’t know them personally, but it still feels weird to know these entertainers who have long been a part of our lives are gone forever. No more movies, no more jokes, no more TV shows, no more albums. And since my response to tragedy and sadness is to joke through the discomfort, I must ask… Did Louie Anderson die choking on Meat Loaf? (See what I did there?) 

• Wordle is currently the best thing in my life.

• Oh, M&M’s, where would we be without you? So thankful you’re being inclusive with your made-up cartoon characters designed to sell us tooth and endocrine system decay.

• Parenting is sometimes you and your kid getting pissed at each other over how fast he eats his box of raisins.