LITERATE APE

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Beware Strangers Bearing a Gift Freelance Gig

by Don Hall

When I first arrived in Chicago back in April of '89 after moving there on a whim, I had no job, no money to speak of, knew no one in town. The only dough I had came from an Optima card (formerly the Amex Credit Card) and whatever I could pick up from playing my trumpet at El stops.

In spite of my meager cabbage count, being new to the Big City, I was often compelled to help those in need by donating a small portion of what I had to the street's many homeless. And in three short months, I learned to stop giving.

One cat hit me up three times in three different areas with exactly the same story—the thing about his sick wife in the car with no gas and three dollars for gas was all he needed. The third time I gave him a fiver and told him that I only owed him a dollar next time. Another begged for money because he hadn't eaten so I went inside a White Hen and grabbed him a bagel, which he then stuffed into his jacket and continued to ask other passers-by for money because he hadn't eaten in three days.

I'd estimate that four out of every ten strangers who engage you on the streets of Chicago are grifters. I'd likewise estimate that nine out of ten in Las Vegas are looking to get one over on you for a quick score. Chicago is a place for panhandlers and buskers. Vegas is the home of the guy who will steal your catalytic converter and then offer to help you find it for a few bucks on the side.

With the pandemic, lockdowns, stimulus checks, and the dramatic rise in remote gigs, the grift is in full force.

Christopher is a friend who spent a few years working as a restaurant manager in Phoenix and found himself adrift. When things shut down in March 2020, he was left without work for three months. He burned up his savings and, by the time the restaurant opened back up, his tolerance for the heightened rage and childishness of people pushing back against mask mandates soon evaporated. He quit his job not long after re-opening.

Chris is a skilled graphic designer but had some holes in his technical understanding of the industry and wondered how he could quit the restaurant industry and make a decent living working from home.

He knew that after moving to Vegas I landed a job at a local casino as a manager but had moved to remote copywriting and the writing of articles and books to pay the bills a year and a half later. He called me for suggestions.

I kept things simple. Get a website. A portfolio. Take a look at the websites of other freelance graphic designers for clues as to what he should include. Get the resume relevant and focused on the sought after gigs. Go to LinkedIn Learning, drop $30 and take a month of online classes to bone up on those blind spots with Adobe. Avoid Upworth and Fiver. Go to LinkedIn, Indeed, Creative Circle, and Glassdoor for job listings and apply. And apply. Apply some more.

"Don't sell yourself short. You have talent and drive. Ask for the cash you want, not what you think you deserve."

"What does that mean?"

“I've done some ghostwriting so it's on my resume. I received a request for a ghostwriting proposal recently. Ten pages plus revisions. Topic was alcohol abuse. Needed it in a week. I sent back that I'd need $2,000 with half up front. Never heard back."

"That's a lot of money, though."

“Ten pages is approximately 2,500 words. That's 80 cents a word including as many revisions as necessary. I've been writing for a couple of decades, have a few books published, and write every day. I'm worth 80 cents a word. If not, no sweat. I'll find other words to write."

A few weeks later, I got a call from Chris. He was thrilled. He'd been hired out of the gate for $60 an hour. According to him, the interview was entirely online (no video or phone conversations, either). He was asked to write an essay about why he was qualified in 90 minutes. He wrote the essay and was hired.

"That's a little weird, right?"

"Yeah. A little off."

The company that hired him was a real company and certainly large enough to accommodate the hourly. They also sent him a check for $6,800 for computers, design software, office equipment, and a new smartphone. He cashed it.

"Did it clear?" I asked.

"It cleared. Sitting in my account right now." He sounded doubtful but hopeful.

The company instructed him that the $6,800 was to be paid out upon delivery of the equipment. He was out of town that weekend but they were insistent that it happen immediately. Communicating through LinkedIn messages and texts, he informed them he would be able to take care of everything the following Monday. It was as if he hadn't sent them any messages at all.

He was contacted by the vendor who informed him he'd need payment via J.P. Morgan Chase bank check and he'd be by to pick it up on Sunday morning. Again Chris told him he would not be there until Monday. He also let him know he didn't have a Chase account so it might not be until Monday afternoon.

Sunday morning, he called me.

"The check was counterfeit. It bounced."

"Seriously? Good thing you weren't in town for the supposed delivery. How'd you find out about the check?"

"The bank called me. I guess I wasn't supposed to deposit a check I printed out myself. You think I still have the job?"

"No. There was never a job at the end of this, dude. They wanted you to pay their vendor—most likely them—the money before the bank bounced it. You'd have been out seven grand and then they'd disappear."

It was all a scam, preying upon his fear of being unemployed.

Unfortunately the entire episode so thoroughly discouraged him that he gave up on the graphic design freelance and got another job in a different restaurant in the same complex.

This is something new. Eschewing the tried and true scams of Nigerian Princes and computer technicians promising to fix your PC, this cynical ploy is guaranteed to sucker in a lot of folks looking for remote work. Given that at current rates three out of every five people are looking to work from home best beware.

Some of the best remote work is grifting others. Using the ubiquitous technology of the smartphone and social media, the easiest gig available is to spam others with collected personal data, cold texting with fraudulent web links, and ransomware demands to release a hacked device.

I DO owe it to myself, amiright?

Cursory research reveals a couple of aspects of a job offer to be suspect:

Interviews Take Place Over Messaging Platforms

If you’re offered an interview on messaging services like Google Hangouts or Yahoo Messenger, walk away.

Scammers use these platforms to “interview” you for a job. Then, before the interview is over, they offer the job to you and ask for personal information, such as your Social Security number or bank account number, to set up direct deposit for your upcoming paychecks.

A Sense of Urgency To Hire

If you see an ad for a company that is hiring immediately or has a same-day hiring process, be on guard. Additionally, if a representative contacts you immediately after you apply and says the company is looking to fill the position that day or week, politely ask why. According to a recent Indeed survey, only 4% of job applicants hear back from a company the same day that they apply.

The Job Seems Too Good To Be True

If something appears too good to be true, it is. The same goes for job descriptions that offer easy work for terrific pay with no training. If you see this kind of ad, alarm bells should go off in your head.

We're in an odd transitional place when it comes to work. Everyone is looking to make the most money for the least amount of effort. Especially the grifters.