By David Himmel

• In matters of family planning—that is, choosing a mate—keep in mind that the money will come; the love doesn’t always show up. Don’t let money buy your heart.

• You know you’re old when everyone around you talks about things that were cool months ago as if they’re still the coolest thing out there. Remember being young? Nothing was that cool for more than maybe two months. And, yeah, I’m including the Macarena.

• Regret comes too late, and always right on time.

• Am I happily married? Yep, most of the time. Do I recommend marriage and all other traditionally domesticated things? Nope. Be an island. But a welcoming island. Friends and lovers make for great temporary fun.

• That said… get married if you want to. Have all the kids. Buy the new construction in a suburb. But don’t be surprised when it’s not all happy endings all the time. Happy endings always become regular, old life when the credits role after the honeymoon. So, just know what your choices will bring: life’s continued rollercoaster.

• Humor is only as funny as you make it.