by Don Hall

This past weekend, SNL did an unusually spot-on horror movie parody mocking those of us on the Left quaking in existential dread about the possibility of President Joe Biden running again in 2024. He's nearly eighty now, so he'd be, what, 435 years old and with that Irish bell out of the grave to see if he's been buried alive?

Despite the efforts to brand Biden's term as a horrible failure or a resounding success, as we've seen in recent years, it does matter who sits in those hallowed halls of government and passes those pesky laws guaranteeing rights to vote, to abortion access, to immigration reform, to economic issues, to foreign policy. Yeah, politics has become a Bizarro World version of the wrestling world of ridiculous hype and flexing muscles but it still actually matters.

From my angle, Uncle Joe has done more than expected in terms of climate change, infrastructure, the handling of the pandemic, foreign policy, and the economy in general. I think he's been a damn fine president in almost every respect. On the other hand, the guy as old as Methuselah and that has to count in job performance at some point. Mind you, if the choice is between anyone on the Republican side and Joe Biden's mummified corpse, I'm voting for the old fucker in the sarcophagus. If Joe ain't jumping in for another four years, who shows up for the Left?

What's off the table for me? No celebrities, no self made billionaires, no edge casers.

Kamala Harris? No. No, no, no. Great lawyer, lousy politician. I love Kamala but she has squandered any opportunity for potential in the past two years.
[2 out of 10]

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez? Hey. She's less experienced but I like her. A bit too far on the Edgecase Left and the Jews ain't voting for her but I think she'd be a spectacular VP nominee with the right candidate.
[5 out of 10]

Cory Booker? I like Booker. I like his politics. I like his moderate stances.
[7 out of 10]

Amy Klobuchar? Nope. Again, I dig where she's coming from but she's brittle and not at all inspirational.
[4 out of 10]

Gavin Newsom? Why not just run Stanley Tucci from The Hunger Games?
[2 out of 10]

Stacey Abrams? Abrams started out well but she's that woman who gores to HR when you make an off-color joke.
[3 out of 10]

Pete Buttigieg? Yes. Straight up yes. I'd vote for Pete.
[8 out of 10]

I think I'd be into a Buttigieg/Booker ticket.

I'd rather vote for Andrew Yang's Forward Party but they don't have a prayer until they get some folks in Congress.

I remember back in the early days of the Obama campaign. I wasn't thrilled with a Hillary presidency but I was going to vote for her anyway. Suddenly, out of the blue, here comes this highly charismatic, left of center, constitutional scholar with youth and a message of hope. It was a lock. Maybe we have another one of those moments catch us all off guard.

We have about six months to decide before shit gets insane. Oh? You thought it was insane now? The big showdown in WWE is always batshit, gang. Buckle up.