by M.S. Garvey

I need advice. I seek advice. 

How can I eat Christmas dinner with fascists? Plain and simple. That’s it. This Christmas, how in the hell (and why?) am I going to spend Christmas day with fascists? I doubt that I could be the only one having this conversation within themselves. But frankly it is tearing me up. It is eating me up inside. The closer it gets to Christmas the more and more I think about it; how can we eat Christmas dinner with fascists?! 

I hope you know that I am truly sincere in this, I know that you three have known and had to interact with a fascist or two and have probably had to break bread with them and spend some considerable amount of time with them. So, please let me know as soon as you can. I am in a bit of a panic about the whole thing. How will I eat dinner or even say ‘hello’ or ‘smile’ at the fascists around the Christmas table. Ah gad, it sounds so anti-Christmas, doesn’t it? ‘Fascism’.  It really makes me kind of sick at the sound of it. ‘Fascists at Christmas’. I mean, I won’t say that I don’t have any ideas, it is just that I would really like to know what the three of you think about my situation. Is yours similar?  Will you be spending Christmas dinner with fascists? 

I look forward to your response, 

Sincerely concerned this Christmas, 

M. S. Garvey 

….oh, P.S. - one idea that I had was to be in the spirit of Jesus (I know that Republicans say they like Jesus). And be like Bush. You know, George Bush used to have a saying, “I wonder what Jesus would do?" Me too. And I think that Jesus would try and love the fascists. You know, under the guise of ‘love thy enemy’ and maybe that’s what I think I must do. I must try to love the fascists at the Christmas. I mean really trying to love them hard. I thought that one way I could do that would be to hug them so hard with love that I squeezed the fascism right out of them. I could even say as I hugged them,…. “oooh, I am going to squeeze the fascism right out of you!” What do you think, Don? Do you think something like this could work? 

… or, here is another idea – the exact opposite. Give them no love. Establish some limits. For example, I will see no more than two. Allow no more than two fascists at the dinner table. And if more arrive, leave. Set some conditions with them perhaps,… no hugs, no smiles, no warmth, etc.... definitely make a point not to eat any of the food they bring; no Christmas cookies, no fruit cake, no cup of Christmas cheer. I must make sure to stay clear of the mistletoe if a Republican is around. I would like to just ignore them all together, but I have a feeling that will not solve the issue. That’s the thing; we can’t just ignore fascism and think that it will go away. So, what can be done? Hey Joe! Any ideas? 

… well, I suppose too that I could wear a sign around my neck similar to the bumper sticker that Woody Guthrie pasted on his guitar, THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS. That’s bound to keep their mouths shut while singing Christmas Carols. Well, wait,… maybe not. It might get me a punch in the face or even shot. It confuses me how Republicans might not see themselves as fascists, but maybe that is not the conversation to be having at Christmas. But, then again, perhaps it is THE conversation to be having this Christmas. What do you say, Vlad? Can we talk about it? 

… the last thing that comes to mind is a song. Sing a song. Sing a song that lasts the whole day long. And don’t stop singing that song. You can all come with your own song be it original or tailor it to an existing tune. I made a song for myself sometime around mid-summer to the tune of Wille Nelson’s and Julio Iglesias’ “To All the Girls I Loved Before”. I call it, “To All the Republicans I Loved Before”. I will end my letter to you all with it if you don’t mind. 

“To all the republicans I’ve loved before, 

I sing to say, I can’t love you anymore, 

You've no love in your hearts, you’re tearing us apart, 

To all the republicans I've loved before. 

To all the republicans I now abhor, 

You're corporate whores and nothing more, 

It's profit over life, you’re far from in the right, 

To all the republicans I now abhor.... 

We've formed our lives with fear and hate, 

It's a simple truth, there’s no debate... 

Baby Jesus would not raise himself this way, 

Oh gad, I got so much more to say,… 

Like, FASCISM IS NOT THE WAY!,… “ah, fa, fudge.. 

Ah, no, no,… that’s  

No, I can’t do it that way. Not derogatory, not hateful. My heart tells me; my gut, wha....(are they the same? Heart and gut? When I am listening to instincts; listening to those voices that tell us what to do...are they the same? Gut and heart? Something I may have never understood. Vlad, what tells you to make war on your neighbor? Heart or Gut? Or, are they the same?) Both. Both. They are the same on this one. 

(Dear Don, what’s your take on Gut vs. Heart? What tells you to ‘grab a woman’s pu, pu,...pu, purse...?’) 

(Hey Joe!, You?!... heart, gut, the same, different?... does one’s heart tell them ‘you’re a capitalist?’) 

I have to love the fascists this Christmas. Love them so much, so hard that it feels almost like hate. Love that ‘fascism’ right out of them. That’s not impossible, is it? Is that too much to ask for this Christmas? 

You know, another song has stormed into my mind, just in time... ‘cause it is never too late to learn. 

“...the greatest thing you’ll ever learn 

Is just to love and be loved in return. 

...the greatest think you’ll ever learn 

Is just to love and be love in return.” 

• Nat King Cole, Nature Boy 

Thank you, Nat King Cole. Merry Christmas To You. And to you too; you three... merry Christmas to us all, and God bless us everyone! Why not? I hope you’ll consider what I said here this Christmas and I look forward to hearing your thoughts.