LITERATE APE

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I Believe... [Recently Abandoned Version]

By Don Hall

...that divorce, when there are grown-ups involved, does not have to be an episode of The Jerry Springer Show. At least she didn’t shit in my bed.

...that realizing you married your unrequited love is a real piece of mindfuckery.

...that, when the shit hits the fan in a very real sense, family and friends who provide undying support is the diamond standard. Also, they’re cheaper than therapy.

...that nothing makes the problems of the world less pressing than a personal crisis. Elon who? Ukraine what?

...that no matter how old one gets, it’s never too late to sit in an empty apartment, stare hard into the life you you were and are no longer living, and have a full-blown existential crisis.