by Joe Janes

A leaked memo has revealed the conservative members of the Supreme Court’s plan to overturn the constitutional right for a woman to get a safe and legal abortion.

Here are details you may have missed…

1)    Gives the power to regulate abortions to states and Brett Kavanaugh.

2)    All women and girls aged 10 and above are legally obligated to care for a child if handed a baby by a man who says, “Hold this.”

3)    Schools are now required to teach girls how to hold a baby and make a sandwich.

4)    In cases of rape or incest, women are now forced to “give it a go” in regards to a relationship.

5)    In the event a woman’s life is in danger without getting an abortion, the court sides with the baby since the woman has already shown poor judgment by getting pregnant. 

6)    The SCOTUS has determined that life begins when Ginni Thomas texts about it. 

7)    CRT will not be taught in schools (while we’re here).

8)    Women caught crossing state lines for an abortion or soliciting an illegal one in-state will be imprisoned for life for attempted murder. Their babies will be given to the biological father who has the option to tell any woman nearby to “Hold this.”

9)    To train how to care for a baby, young girls will be given a government-issued eaglet.

10)  Corporations are people therefore capable of impregnating women and, given the nature of their relationship, not obligated to pay them for maternity leave as a husband does not need to pay his wife to bear children. PTO is forbidden in attempts to abort the fetus and is cause for termination of employment.

11)  Woman parts is weird and scary and need to be regulated. Seriously, what’s up with all that blood?

Editor’s Note: Be informed! Fight! Vote!

Abortion Policy in the Absence of Roe