by Joe Janes

HAPPY

SLACKS!

Slacks for Women

Designed by Men

As a man, I have designed the ultimate pair of slacks for a woman to wear. Please don’t call them “pants”. A dog pants. A horny teenager sinning pants. These are slacks. Call them Happy Slacks.

Women often complain about their slacks not having pockets. Well, this man listened. Happy Slacks features two pockets along the side. They are large enough to fit a woman’s hands in and each one has a tie string top to secure those feminine hands in place. This is so a man can prevent a hysterical woman from flailing or voting Democrat.

While things like yoga pants might seem comfortable, women are oblivious to how much arousal it stirs in a man without their consent to do so. Happy Slacks are baggy with an elastic waistband. No temptation here! They are also made from the same material as an outdoor table cloth, so messes wipe clean and the extra sweat helps the ladies shed pounds!

Happy Slacks have an elastic waistband so no need to worry about the size. One size fits all! It also allows easy access for the man who is told by God to spread his holy seed. We call that a win-win!

Get the accessory leash that attaches to a loop on the back. You can tie your woman to a lamp post while you go have a beer with the boys, especially if they are not old enough to drink.

A standard feature is what we call strategically placed glam clamps that will prevent abortions and miscarriages. That’s right. We know how a woman’s reproduction system works. We’ve read the Bible.

A geo-locator woven into the fabric will call the police should the Happy Slacks be found to be traveling over state lines!

Finally! Slacks for women for our time.

Keep your man happy with Happy Slacks.

Order today!

The only woman’s fashion endorsed by the Republican Party.