by Joe Janes

A busload of confused Trumpsters were dumped in the valet parking area of Mar-a-Lago last night. The bus and driver immediately took off as soon as the last person stepped off the vehicle. State police have been on the lookout for it.

The fans of the former president had been gathered in a Wal-Mart parking lot outside of Columbus, Ohio with promises of employment, housing, paid legal fees, meeting Donald Trump, a chance to look at classified documents, and an opportunity to shoot their guns at suspicious looking people without repercussion. Many thought they were being called upon by the former president to help defend Mar-a-Lago in case of a civil war.

Security at the resort quickly escorted the supporters off the property and told them there was a Motel 6 about 20 miles down the road. The former president, who was golfing at the time, was reportedly upset and called it “a witch hunt” out of habit, then shifted saying this was “clearly a stunt by democrats to try to make him look bad. But, listen, we have a dress code at Mar-a-Lago. These people would be welcome if they had really good credit cards to pay for their rooms and food and membership and if they dressed a little nicer. I’m not opposed to swastikas, Hitler had some good ideas, but save it for the rallies. People are trying to golf and eat omelets, here.”

One displaced Trump fan, who refused to give his name to the “enemy of the state” press, but uploaded a YouTube video under his user name LibsArePussysAndShouldBeDed, said “Some guy named Brandon told us Trump really loved us and wanted to show us by letting us hang out with him at his home. Just hop on the bus and we’ll be greeted by the president himself. Well, that didn’t f-cking happen. Now I’m stuck in Florida trying to get my grandmother to send me money for a cheap motel and some meth. A hooker would be nice.”

Some of the migrated Trumpsters are still clinging to the hope that the former president will come greet them along the road after his golf game and offer them the support they were promised. One of those MAGA fans named Mags, with an eagle tattooed on her neck, said, “Donald J. Trump is the greatest president ever. He made America great again until Joe Biden stole the election and destroyed everything that was great about America. Now we need Donald Trump to make America great again except greaterer. Donald Trump is the chosen one. I just know he is. His image appeared to me when I dropped a Hardees cheeseburger on a hot sidewalk. That’s a sign. I will do anything for him. Like stand here near a ditch by the road in the hot sun waiting for him. No matter how long it takes. Is that an alligator?”

No one has come forward claiming responsibility for deceiving the Trump fans but many democrats in congress have been seen silently nodding and grinning at one another.