By David Himmel

• To be an unhinged, nomadic, romantic is the destiny I fight daily.

• It’s not a cheers, it’s a toast. You say “Cheers!” during a toast. Why is this so difficult for you people to understand?

• Apparently, having a happy wife (and a happy life—ugh, fuck off) at times requires a husband to be his bride’s chamber pot.

• There is no sweeter sound than my son and my grandmother playing and laughing together.

• When things stop making sense, it’s time to slow down, find a dark, quiet bar, and get drunk by yourself.

• PSL stands for Pumpkin Spice Latte, not Please Shut up Ladies. Although, the way so many ladies talk about their ass-expanding lattes, perhaps it should.