by MT Cozzola

First off I am NOT a huge skincare person. My nighttime routine is just splash some water on my face and done. But when my sweet puppy died unexpectedly after 16 years and I had literally NO IDEA how to process it I was like okay, let's see what the BIG DEAL is.

What Exactly Is SLUGGING?

So for people who don’t know, slugging is where you moisturize like normal BUT THEN add a layer of petroleum jelly and leave on overnight. Like I said, I'm lazy with skin care so I just used what I had, a half-empty tub of Vasoline.

Her name was Poppy and she was a miniature smooth-coated Dachshund with HUGE soulful eyes. I seriously could not walk down the street without people stopping us, "OH MY GOD YOUR DOG! She looks like a little movie star."

How Do You DO It?

There are different theories on how much to use but I went with a dime-sized amount and spread it out from under her eyes up to her ears. She had only been dead a couple hours and I was LITERALLY sitting there like, did this just happen to me? So it felt really good to DO SOMETHING.

At first it felt weird because when she was alive Poppy would snap if I touched her muzzle. Strangers that used to try to pet her DID NOT TRY TWICE. But she was so pretty that I could not WALK DOWN THE STREET without someone saying, "Oh my god CAN I PET??"

After I applied a thin, even layer, I put Poppy in the refrigerator. Experts recommend sleeping with an old pillowcase because it's going to stain, but I figured since she was dead I didn't have to worry about her moving around. ROOKIE MISTAKE because I had some cake in the fridge and when I got Poppy out the next morning, I accidentally hit it and Poppy's face rubbed on the cake. OOPS. 

I cut off that bit and didn't eat it, but going forward I put Poppy in an embroidered scarf my mom gave me before she moved to Florida and left me here to try and be an adult even though she NEVER EXPLAINED HOW. She was like, "I can't keep rescuing you like you're twenty-five." So I definitely recommend some protective covering.

But Does It WORK?

Some people think occlusives will clog pores but they are ACTUALLY noncomedogenic. So rather than scrub it off which I could have done because Poppy couldn't bite me, I blotted with a used Kleenex and leashed her up. Obviously she couldn't walk so I put her in a stroller that I borrowed from the lobby of my building. I thought those people were out of town, although then it turned out they weren't.

Now I am GENUINELY SKEPTICAL about skin care claims and by the way this post is NOT SPONSORED by Walgreens or whoever. I just tried this and wanted to share. But after only one day I have to admit, Poppy looked AMAZE! I started pushing the stroller down the street and the VERY FIRST stranger who approached was like, OH MY GOD YOUR DOG! Their eyes were huge and for once I didn't have to warn them to keep away from Poppy's head, which I didn't realize until that moment had ALWAYS stressed me out on a level I was never in touch with. WHAT?!

So Is It WORTH IT?

Experts recommend slugging two to three times per week, so you do have to stick with it. NEWBIE TIP: I kept Poppy in the fridge when we weren't out walking, so she stayed firm enough that slugging did not cause any dents — well, HARDLY any. No haters please I'm NEW AT THIS!

Unfortunately, the people I thought were out of town got upset that I was using their stroller and had me arrested. The officers called my mom, but she said I'm an adult I made my own choices so no, she wasn't going to "come in and see what we can do about this." Thanks, Mom. Good talk. I'll just be over here trying to EMOTIONALLY MATURE with NO INSTRUCTIONS.

Is Slugging Right for YOU?

Mom finally sent me money to go to Florida even though only enough for a bus ticket. Even though I'm IN MOURNING. But slugging has taught me that something doesn't have to be expensive to get the job done. So final verdict: if you are trying to exist in the world with NO idea how to cope with grief AND you have some petroleum jelly around, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND! Good luck and I hope this is helpful.