By David Himmel

• My happy place is a funeral. Puts things in perspective. At least I don’t have to dig a big hole in the rain.

• I want the confidence of the man full-on smoking a blunt on the Blue Line.

• Similarly, I want the confidence of the man reading Hannah Gadsby’s Ten Steps to Nanette: a Memoir Situation.

• A really good bagel is one of those rare finds that should always be appreciated to the fullest extent.

• Every single one of us needs to conserve our words. We say too much, and it often confuses things and lands us in trouble. Brevity is genius, so shut up. And while you’re shutting up, be sure to check out The Literate ApeCast!

• I’m all for growing older and wiser and living a full, long life. But also, stay in your twenties and single for as long as you can.