An Unrelentingly Depressing Poem
She looked at the world
and knew there was no hope.
Seeing the unending layers of ugliness,
she knew the world would never be perfect
and she couldn’t stand to live in it.
There was no hope and
she didn’t want to live anymore,
surrounded by liars and fools.
And all the people were toxic
to each other.
And there was no common ground and
no way to be true to themselves
without hurting others.
And every gain and triumph
felt like grieving and death.
Other people were torture to her,
like trillions of tiny pinpricks all over her skin,
covering every inch of her body.
She couldn’t protect herself.
There was no way they couldn’t hurt her,
oblivious, insensitive, mistaken, wrong.
She wanted to peel her own skin off.
She wanted to cut out her tongue.
She wanted to be invisible.
She wanted to melt and disappear into the universe.
She wanted to be done.
Was it better to wait it out,
knowing it would only get worse?
Was it possible she’d ever get used to it,
not mind so much?
Drinking and music were her solace.
Fucking another person was too risky,
could only end in disappointment and shame.
Her home became a grave
she shared with her memories and regrets.
And then eventually, inevitably, she was gone.