...that when confronted with a name-dropper, the best course of action is to counter-name drop fictional bands. “Yeah. I saw the Anal Beads in a dive bar before they became big! The lead singer of the Flaming Colonoscopy Bags once bought me a beer in between sets.”

...that the best reason for wearing glasses is that moment when you take them of to indicate that what you are about to say is very, very serious.

...that I will support any strike or boycott with full-throated courage right up until it provides me with minor inconvenience.

...that there are few things I find more objectionable than the term SEO Optimization. It has Google-ized an entire cohort of writers into soulless copywriters using words to manipulate search engine results.

...that trying to take Trump down by pointing out what a lousy human being he is is like trying to bring down Vin Deisel by calling him a muscle-bound meathead. [Takes glasses off] It’s his brand so all you’re doing is advertising for him.