by Joe Janes

Former president arrested and charged with espionage. Cormac McCarthy died. So did Pat Robertson. Some people got shot. Some others got stabbed. Some people drowned. Canada is on fire. I had to turn on my furnace in June in Chicago and will be wearing layers today. There’s a Flash movie that looks cool because THE Batman is in it. Spider-verse looks awesome. I didn’t realize Secret Wars was a TV series. I’m binge-watching Outlander. I’m hooked, but I feel like it peaked after Season Two and I’m just in it for the Scottish dialects. I hate Roger and Bree. My cats turned 11 this year. I’m putting together a show for Edinburgh and We. Are. Down. To. The. Wire. Putin’s an asshole. White supremacy and Nazis are a thing. So is book banning and oppression. Can we just put RuPaul in charge of everything? Let drag queens lead the charge. Can we please stop electing morons? Can we please invest more in public education and critical thinking so people stop electing morons? The world has been poisoned by plastic. We will die at the hands of plastic. Fuck people who litter. I will be going to Edinburgh for the fifth time. I love Edinburgh but there’s a whole world I have yet to visit, including my niece and her family in Germany. There are good people out there but the bad people are louder and more violent. We need replicators and transporters, now, please. I don’t read enough books. I enjoy Scotch whisky. The peatier the better. I want each sip to feel like I passed out face down in the ashes of a campfire. Getting older is an interesting game you get to play for free but the in-game purchases will bankrupt ya’. Use it or lose it. Why do we still have money? Why haven’t governors who have deceived immigrants to send them to “liberal” cities been held accountable? Sometimes I like mayonnaise. I’m a vegetarian who loves barbecue. How can politicians just so blatantly and freely lie? I would be a horrible magician. “You saw me do that, right?” Teachers, writers, fast food workers - The people on the front line who make a business successful get screwed by the people who control the money. You should just be happy to have a job. You should just be happy to work here. The voices aren’t in my head. It’s more like my brain’s Bluetooth is picking up everyone else’s speakers.